“Life is not the way it is supposed to be. It is the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.” Virginia Satir
I found this fantastic quote and thought ‘wow'! Of course! But often it's the most obvious things that we lose sight of in this age of super speed and stress.
This year has been one of tumultuous personal change for most people I know – it must be the planets! And I think that's why this quote had such an impact on me. There is an element of acceptance or surrender that is necessary for us to flow with the tidal waves of life as opposed to the struggle involved in battling the inevitability and relentlessness of those waves. Learning to be present to what is and flow is perhaps one of life's great lessons.
I would like to paraphrase Virginia Satir’s quote to “it's what we choose to do with it, that makes the difference”. Not just how we ‘cope'. We do always have a choice as to how we think. No one else is in charge of our thinking! Our thinking is what determines how we behave or respond to the tidal waves. Before you cynics mumble ‘bull @#*#', think about it. We can (once we take a step back and breathe) choose our thoughts – the story we tell ourselves about what has happened or is happening. With consciousness and personal effort, we can change our habitual way of behaving or reacting.
So, how serene are you? What events disturb your equilibrium?
Do you ever have equilibrium or a deep sense of contentment! Have you had a situation in the past where you have just accepted things as they are and worked with that situation as it evolved? Do you listen to intuition or hunches or gut feelings and use them to guide you? Or does your mind take control and tell you things are not ‘supposed' to be like this; that it's unfair which creates anger and paralyses you with the unjustness of it all?
Intuition, hunches, gut feelings are your best guides – not what others think, or what others have told you in the past, or what your parents may have embedded when you were a child. This awareness of ‘inner guidance' and feelings is a great gift our children are born with, so talk about this article with them and encourage them to make it a lifelong awareness.
To rediscover your awareness, give yourself solitary, quiet time to become sensitive to the intuition you have – and reflect on it. Ask your inner self (gut feelings etc) to give you some indication that you read the hunch correctly and then look for a sign as they say! Before you ridicule this idea, know that it's the way many highly effective (and rich) people operate.
Anyway no matter what you think, life IS the way it is! So will you flow and work with it, or exhaust yourself with constant struggle?