You are NOT your mindset – but your mindset rules your life!
Ok, so you have heard all this stuff about mindsets but you are not really sure what they are!
Simplistically, a mindset is just a collection of beliefs.
Beliefs are just thoughts arranged in a pattern!
I was honoured to spend a lot of time with a client recently on their roadshow, who all have fantastic growth mindsets! And you WANT a growth mindset in the people you connect to and partner with!
Essentially, there are two core mindset patterns – fixed or growth. Your mindset is never fixed forever – it’s merely a collection of beliefs and thoughts that have somehow been joined by your childhood environment, your experiences and the people with whom you hang around! You can change it if you want to!
A growth mindset is one where you are open to learning; willing to change – in fact you are an early adopter of change; you take responsibility for yourself, your feelings and your actions; you seek new opportunities; you are enthusiastic; you are always looking to be the best version of yourself.
People with fixed mindsets often stay stuck in the past; they blame others and don’t take responsibility for themselves; they like being ‘victims’; they are inflexible and find change an extraordinary challenge; they have fixed concepts about all sorts of things like marriage or who does what in personal relationships; ‘it’s not my job’ kind of people!
One of the key secrets we covered was how to change a mindset – which is relatively simple (not so easy) to do if you begin to OBSERVE your thinking.
95-99% of the time we are unconscious of our thoughts – yet they are constantly running in the background and controlling how you feel.
Feelings are indicators of what you are thinking! If becoming conscious of your thinking seems challenging initially – make sure that when you notice a feeling, you dive deeper. Ask yourself ‘what is it in me that is making me feel this way?’. Because it is NEVER anyone else who MAKES you feel! Your feelings follow your thoughts…. and we can think with our brain, heart and gut.
Make a commitment today to begin observing your thinking. What are you saying to yourself about everything? It only takes a second to recognise what you are thinking or saying to yourself but actually doing the observing takes a lot of practice before it becomes a habit!
Listen as well to what comes out of your mouth! If you hear self-limiting beliefs and thoughts coming out – like ‘I am no good at ‘blah’… add the word ‘yet’. It’s a very powerful word and changes the meaning of what you just said – so your unconscious mind hears you are not good at ‘blah – YET’. Which implies soon you will be good at ‘blah’!
These are two simple but powerful techniques that really work.
I loved how this client had such a corporate growth mindset that they allow someone like me to present to all the (very fun!) partners. This information really does help the typical entrepreneur partner to become more successful in whatever way they like – not to mention be wiser parents and grandparents!
The last and still VERY significant element of truly living – as you can do with a growth mindset – is gratitude. It is the master re-framer. If you can consciously choose to look at everything that happens to you through gratitude glasses, life changes – for the better!
No matter how terrible something seems if you can will yourself to look for things for which to be grateful, you will not only feel differently but also transform how the memory is embedded into your cells.
So there you have it! A 3 step process to thrive with a growth mindset!
- Become an observer of your thoughts, so you make conscious choices from now on
- Add the word ‘yet’ to any thought or sentence that implies you are not good at something or has a negative connotation
- Find gratitude every day – in every thing.
Go forth and live your life with a growth mindset.
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