From Amanda's very early writing (1990s to early 2000s), shared as it was originally written.
11 AGE AND LIFE
I have been asked to speak at a series of seminars around Australia to people who are about to or already are retired. In preparing for a lifestyle presentation, I jotted down some ideas that I thought about the way older, (from now on written as 'more mature' ) people lived in our culture.
We don't share the same sense of respect for our 'elders' as do many tribal groups and native populations. I think we should. Not everyone who is over 60 is useless! They have a wealth of knowledge, that is transformed into wisdom by years of their life experiences.
Groucho Marx once advised "We should learn from the mistakes of others. We don't have time to make them ourselves." And that applies even more in today's world, where we do more , with less, in less time. We should have more mature folks advising us in our lives, in small business matters - or even big business if that is what they spent a working lifetime doing. This is just one idea that jumped immediately into my mind.
I asked myself , is there life after retirement? YES! I concluded. A much better one if we prepare for it. We grow up and from the age of 13 we are asked 'what do you want to do in life?'. We plan and study for 20 years for this job or work. No one mentions after work. Or makes us think about, or study for, the 20 years after we retire. We expect to find a satisfying job that makes us money and we expect to have to work until we are at retiring age, at which point we can finally start to relax and do what we want. That' s the theory!
Except...that's not what usually happens! Especially for men and I fear for a growing number of women who are making more of having a career and who will be as lost as most men who stop 'formal' work. Many men find too late that work was everything in their lives. It was stimulation, satisfaction , achievement and recognition all wrapped into one. Whew - a hard thing to take out of your life in one swoop. One day you're there and the next, the routine is gone; your purpose is gone; your main source of satisfaction and stimulation disappears; and you don't have any idea of how to live this new lifestyle.
So you drive your wife/partner nuts! If she hasn't been working and she is used to having the house and her days to herself, it's a rude shock to suddenly have a permanent , on site 'helper'! Who wants to take over all the things that have filled her life! If you've both been working the whole time, it's a shock for both of you, although women tend to have more connections, interests and friends in life. (Of course I'm generalising)
We should prepare now, even if we are 27 years old, for retirement! The best preparation of all is to have a balanced lifestyle. To make sure that work doesn't consume your life. That your satisfaction , achievement , and joy come from a wide range of activities. Like hobbies; learning new skills ; friends; a social life; sport; the community and a sense of contributing. Learn to play bridge - it's a tremendous mental challenge. Or chess. And practice so much you are able to compete. Fill your spare time with these pastimes so you have a balance. After all, who utters these immortal words as they draw their last breath..."I wish I'd spent more time at work!"?
Find a purpose in life other than the pursuit of financial rewards and promotion. Remember , he or she who dies with the most points , still dies! If you can't think of a purpose. use the Dalai Lama's - he said the purpose of life is to be happy and useful. So get out there and be useful! Happiness follows you - rather than being the end point of a journey.
Volunteer for things. Join community groups. Or clumps of mature people who bushwalk or travel or meet regularly. As the more mature people of today seem younger and fitter and young looking than ever before, and in greater numbers, there are more activities being promoted for that market. Look for them. And in our work life years we need to cultivate activities that we can continue in some way into our retirement time.
I met a man today who told me that his 85 year old mother went out to help the 'old people' by taking them meals on wheels. That's how I want to be.
Do you view yourself as old? Big mistake if you do. Think young, and that now, at last, you have the time and money (usually) to do the things you want to do. Get out there and do them. Your kids don't deserve all your money. Splurge a bit for the first time in your life. Take a couple of risks now you can. Add some spice to your life with exciting holidays. Read travel books and plan a world adventure. Or go to France for a cooking class!
Exercise your mind AND your body. More mature people need to pump iron and build up their bodies like the rest of us. In fact they need to do it more. Falls and fear come from muscle weakness more than anything - our more mature folks need to develop strong muscles again. Muscles are perfectly capable of being strengthened no matter what age we are. And the stronger they are the more independent we are ; the more confident we feel ; and the safer we are.
There are plenty of places now running aerobics classes for 'seniors'; consider aquarobics or exercising in the water which is a wonderful way to start exercising if it's new to you; and to add variety to yoru program if you are already fit; or start yoga - the worlds most fantastic exercise! It's gentle, safe, easy , controllable and exercises brain and body; sports people perform much better when they incorporate the right sort of yoga into their routine. All of these exercise regimes are easier to continue than begin for the first time, so starting before you retire is a smart move. And remember, it's never too late for exercise. AT 95 I'm still going to be in that gym or lifting weights. I'll be granny Godzilla!
And if you are more mature and can't find an already organized group - start one yourself! Call gyms; find heated pools; contact senior organizations; recruit a local physiotherapist who is willing to plan and produce the programs; start a walking group yourself; call all your friends and convince them to come with you - so that when you've finished exercising, you can all go to the local health bar and sit and drink herbal tea! Or carrot juice.
As soon as you can, learn more about your health. Read the latest research on diet, exercise, and lifestyle and it's effects on blood pressure , cancer and arthritis. Subscribe to the Life Extension Program - an American association that seems genuinely committed to giving well researched information about natural therapies that keep our brains and bodies working in peak condition until we are ready to 'go'! Keep your eyes on this Life section - it's editor is fantastic at finding out the latest information!
You have a great deal more control than you realize. When you are exercising regularly, and eating well you will be amazed at how much more energy you have; how much your mood will lift and your sleeping improves ; how much less your arthritis troubles you and how you will need less drugs.
If you've been saving up all these years and focused solely on work to get the money so you could retire well, it's on the cards that you will die within the first year. Your main way of living, work - your life blood, just stopped. It didn't peter out or gradually fade, it just stopped. So do you! The adjustment is huge.
Prepare now! Find a balance. Develop friends. Start exercising. Have a hobbie. Get a life.
