From Amanda's very early writing (1990s to early 2000s), shared as it was originally written.
CHRISTMAS CHEER?
Oh No! The nuts are out! Christmas nuts of course. This marks the start of Christmas for a friend of mine - as soon as she sees the nuts in the supermarkets she knows the rush is on. The panic of the lead up to Christmas - not to mention the day itself!
Tis the season to be jolly...fa la la la la! No it's not! It might have been once upon a time but now it's become , for many people, the season to be cold, miserable,tense and stressed!
As we all seem to be doing more, with less, in less time just the thought of Christmas and all it implies can be exhausting. When are we going to find time to shop for all the presents; fight the other shoppers; buy all the food; prepare for vacation; make sure the house isn't burgled; fit everybody in the house and cope with the relatives -let alone prepare to relax and recover from the 12 months of hard work we just finished.
Christmas and Thanksgiving can also the loneliest times of the year because they are traditionally such 'family times' although our idea of family seems to have changed dramatically. We have so many step families that the concept of with whom do we spend Christmas and who gets the children can be heart attack or depression material. And if you're the one who misses out on having the children, Christmas can be devastating.
Or maybe you're away from your family and no one has 'adopted' you; or you are estranged from your family; or you don't have one. Then again you may have too much family and have arguments over which family to see this Christmas!
Most of us by the end of the year are exhausted. We wake up tired every day! Our emotional defenses are up - we are prickly, irritable and fragile already and we really need a good rest - not world war III!
And what about the concept of Christmas eating? Not only do we stuff the turkey but we stuff ourselves to the point of feeling ill - either because we are greedy or because we feel obliged to eat both meals that both sets of parents lovingly cooked for us!
But wait , there's more! Sibling arguments! Yes, here's your big opportunity to mix and mingle with people you avoid all year long and now you're all stuck together in a small room, everybody arguing or talking at once, or worse...no one talking at all, just glumly staring at the food. Yuck!
Why am I painting such a negative picture? Because that's how most people think about Christmas before it happens. Once you're all together , it's not usually so bad. However, a few stress busters before the event may be of some value!
Firstly, always do your shopping the year before during the January sales! If that's too late for you, start this minute. Make a list of who needs a present and try to be smart.
Buy everyone who hasn't read it the book "The Heartmath Solution” and Heart Zones music and if you want to be extravagant ..their software which is great for men in particular. The software that this amazing organization has , will show the direct effect of their incredibly good relaxation techniques on the heart and brain. If you want someone you love to live longer, be happier and better at everything they do, buy them this present! Visit their website heartmath.com and shop for everyone!
Or buy 'Manhood' by Steve Biddulph; or Steve's other books ‘Raising Boys’ or 'Secrets of Happy Children'. This strategy of buying educational gifts that make life better means you can cover half your list in one place!
Then there's always lifestyle gifts like massage and facial vouchers - for men and women. Or cheaper versions like a certificate designed and produced by you that offer six free home massages or two months ironing done by you; or lawn mowing or gardening or washing up or grocery shopping or washing or any of those wonderful character building tasks that you would love someone else to do!
What about other gift ideas - because this alone can be a stressful process: how about movie passes?; home made gifts like preserves or chutneys or wheat heat bags(which are fantastic. You make a little corduroy cloth bag and fill it with wheat which when you put in the microwave heats up and stays hot for ages!) ; or a secret rendezvous weekend voucher ( or a mystery trip with an airline!); or buy them a journal (a book where they can write all their emotions and feelings and anything they want to write)or magic moment book (one in which to write all their wonderful experiences or put photos of those experiences) ; or a series of dancing lessons; or surfing lessons or massage classes; or a baby sitter for one or every Thursday night so he or she can go to yoga or out on a date; or buy them a comedy tape for the car so they can unwind on the way home; or a series of comedy videos - Mr Bean or Monty Python or A Fish Called Wanda etc; buy them the 'starter kit' for a hobby - to encourage them to take up a relaxing pastime; or a gym membership or two sessions with a personal trainer; or a season of yoga classes; or meditation classes; or an adult education class in a subject they may like.
Not only are most of those presents easy to wrap (in a card) they avoid the hassle of rushing about in the Christmas crowds. I also buy gifts all through the year and store them in the Christmas cache. Then I have to remember to forage through before I go out and buy a second set!
Perhaps you can come to an arrangement with the family that you will buy the children gifts and not the adults - this saves time and money.
Rush into the supermarket early to buy the wrapping paper before there are only scrappy, ugly bits of paper left in the bins! Or Dollar stores, they have great stuff!! And one big roll of ribbon is a cheaper option. Some people find great delight in beautiful wrapping - they create works of art. That's a great way to meditate! Of course my artistic attempts in this area were about as successful as my flower arranging - not! But you may have a great time.
Set your Christmas tree up now - make it a family fun event! At least this is only your immediate family with whom (presumably) you have fun! And then set the presents under it as you buy and wrap them. Children make this process impossible so find another hidey hole!
And finally , plan. Planning this early can minimize the stress. Plan the gifts, the days you'll shop, the food you'll buy and the work you'll have to do before you go on holiday! And plan to have a good time! Imagine and visualize yourself and the troops all laughing together and eating moderately and feeling relaxed - even if it turns out differently at least you'll be relaxed before you arrive!
