From Amanda's very early writing (1990s to early 2000s), shared as it was originally written.
Depression Busters
How do we think? Who ever taught us this at school? Not what we think, but how we actually do it. Well, according to neurolinguistics, there are three main ways people process , transmit and store information.
There are people who see pictures in their 'minds eye'. (Visual) There are those who talk to themselves in their own 'dialect' - they have to translate what you are saying into their own language. (Auditory) And those who translate what you say into feelings or have a sense of what you are communicating. (Kinaesthetic)
It's very interesting to pay attention to your particular style. We all have capacity to think in all three ways - and which one we use depends on the circumstances. We tend to favor one style when we are under pressure. Knowing how you and others process information allows us to be flexible in our methods of passing information - we can alter the way we present the information so it suits the style of the person with whom we are communicating - this makes it much easier for them to absorb the message and avoids misunderstandings.
So what has this to do with depression? Or bad moods? Or worry?
Well, when you are upset, anxious, worried what are you focusing on? And HOW are you focusing? Do you see pictures of disaster? Tell yourself awful things will happen? Or just feel like a tornado is in your stomach? Or all three? Which comes first?
Here is the first key - do you focus on what you don't want to happen? Or what you would like to have happen? Too many people become locked into a vicious cycle of perpetually thinking what they don't want to happen - or how bad things used to be.
Shift your perspective for a moment - what if someone said to you "I know what you don't want, but what DO you want? Or , 'in the past you have always reacted in this way under these circumstances (been scared of commitment, frightened of making a fool of yourself etc) so how would you rather behave under these circumstances?'
Create a picture / dialogue or feeling of how you would like to behave - what would you look like, sound like and feel like if you handled the next similar situation brilliantly? You are the director of a movie - you have unlimited budget and creativity - the person who looks like you can have any skills , behaviors, attitudes and attributes that enable them to handle this situation magnificently. In fact, you may wish to run two or three movies with different series of behaviors to see which one works best or is most suitable in variations of the same theme.
Here is the second key - make the movie as realistic as possible. If there is color, brighten it. If there is sound, make it louder. If there is movement, increase the movement. Make it as clear and focused as you can. And be IN the movie - rather than just watching the whole thing, pretend that you are actually acting in this movie - make it as real as possible. Hear what you would hear out of your ears if you were in this scene in real life. See what you would see out of your eyes if you were experiencing this. Aed feel the emotions you would be feeling at this time if you were behaving brilliantly!
This shift in emphasis from focusing on what you did badly /poorly or were frightened of in the past to what you would rather have happen gives your brain a different set of instructions! By replaying and actually 'reliving' the movie of the preferred behaviors and outcomes over and over again you are mentally rehearsing or practicing a new role in a new scenario with different and more productive outcomes.
This is what all elite athletes do to improve their performance. They spend several hours per day seeing/ hearing and feeling in their mind, the best performance they could possibly accomplish - a perfect performance. At a microscopic level, our muscles are reacting as if we actually were performing the task and so we literally do rehearse the physical act without physical movement. (No, you cannot get fit this way!! But you can improve precision performance or behaviors)
So if you mentally rehearse behaviors for future situations that in the past have been difficult, your body has been trained for appropriate action the next time that event or situation occurs. Focus on what you want to have happen rather than reinforcing what you hope won't happen again. Notice how your worry and stress levels reduce when you consistently try this technique. Initially, you may choose to just put your awareness on how you normally think about difficult situations. Often , the new awareness is enough to alow you to make changes. You will notice more dramatic changes if you specifically create/ imagine the preferred performance and mentally rehearse it. Have fun!
