From Amanda's very early writing (1990s to early 2000s), shared as it was originally written.
“THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN INCREASING IT’S SPEED.”
Mahatma Ghandi
How often do you stop to notice your breathing? We don’t pay enough attention to our breathing patterns. As our lives speed up and we try to do more, with less , in less time , so our stress levels go up. And the first thing that changes is our breathing - we do less of it! Our breaths are more shallow and rapid; less oxygen goes to our brain - it’s diverted to muscles to prepare us to fight or flee. This means that when we are stressed, our thinking is affected. We lose creativity, flexibility and the ability to see the big picture because we are totally focused on the thing we think is stressing us.
Being aware of our breathing is the single most important clue we have that we are stressed and our most important stress buster. That’s why lots of people smoke when they feel stressed.. What’s the first thing they do when they light up? Take a huge breath! Unfortunately, that breath has a very high nicotine content!
Without a cigarette in your mouth, taking a big breath in ..... and out (some people forget that part)......relaxes your whole system and tells your brain the danger is over; and it starts normalising all the chemical stress changes you had developed in response to the perceived danger - whether it’s something physical like a car about to run into you or non physical like a scowl from your boss or a fight with your partner.
It seems to me that as we strive to achieve more each day , to take on more responsibilities; to earn more money, to juggle all the roles we think we have to be great at, to better our children’s ‘lot’, to take care of our families etc etc we are speeding up the pace of life. And as Mahatma Ghandi said “there is more to life than increasing it’s speed”.
If life is a journey most people in our society would be on a freeway - whizzing past the world at high speed, being angry and frustrated with the slow drivers, taking extreme risks and being annoyed by the villages that make us slow down and delay our arrival at the destination. There’s no time to stop for drinks, toilet breaks, chatting, enjoyment - or God forbid, fun! Think of the impact of traveling like this.
We use more petrol (we burn up more energy) ; we increase wear and tear on the tyres and the car engine (our bodies) ; we miss the beauty of the countryside (magic moments in our lives); we ignore the sounds and smells of nature (even manure!); sunrises and sunsets (which are just nuisances because they are so glary); we maintain high adrenalin (the stress chemical) levels; our joints become stiff and our muscles tense; our eyes fatigue and are strained; our concentration wavers - we become less alert and our driving performance is affected. So is our safety. These are just some of the likely outcomes of living at high speeds - and constantly increasing our speeds.
Is it so important to always get to our destination quickly? Aren’t we meant to be enjoying the journey? With time to appreciate all the wonders we come across? Time to breathe and think and reflect? Time to just sit and ‘be’? We all seem to be so busy rushing - what for? Is there always the need to hurry?
How many people have whispered in their dying moment, “I wish my life had been faster”! Not many! Most wish they had taken more time to be with their partners, children, parents , hobbies, dancing, smelling the roses. Nadine Satir wrote this moving poem near the time of her death........
If I Had My Time to Live Over.
I’d dare to make more mistakes next time. I’d relax; I’d limber up. I would be sillier than I have been on this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I’m one of those people who lives sensible and sanely hour after hour, day after day.
Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had it to do over again, I’d have more of them. In fact I’d try to have nothing else. Just moments , one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.
I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.
If I had my life to live over again, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring, and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry go rounds. I would pick more daisies.
I showed a video that had pieces of this poem put to music and images at a conference I spoke at recently and I was amazed at the strong positive emotional response from the men in the audience. Many of them wanted to have a copy of the words.
What would you write if you knew your time was limited? Would you keep rushing? “catching’ up with friends infrequently; ignoring your physical, emotional and mental needs; Or would you pay attention to the simpler - and often more important things in life? Would you make quality your quest or would speed spur you on to DO more and BE less?
