From Amanda's very early writing (1990s to early 2000s), shared as it was originally written.
He/She who dies with the most points , wins.
NEEDS WORK!
There is an often repeated story about the Garden of Eden in which Adam and Eve have been on earth for some time and are surrounded by family members. For centuries they have all been living happily, playing games in a community atmosphere. One day, bored with just playing games, one of the team suggested they score points for various aspects of the game.
So they did. And suddenly, competition, rivalry and aggression was born. The family members started fighting and scheming to win the most points - because the person who died with the most points won!
Of course the moral of this story is what did they win? What did the points mean? And the answer
uAdam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. and having fun this story is won whatthe points mean? What was the purpose of point scoring? or winning?
My memory of that story was triggered by reading an article (ABM May 1994) on Peter Singer's book "How Are We to Live?" , which is focused on ethics and self interest. He highlights a Greek psychological law called the paradox of hedonism. Which basically means that if we pursue our own happiness we rarely find it. To quote from this article ' instead, happiness is found by those who turn aside from the search for it and do something else , some activity that they find worthwhile for its own sake."
I have written in the past about having a purpose in life, some meaning in your life and its impact on heart health - here's a new angle on it. Having a purpose in life leads us to happiness! It stops us thinking about ourselves, gives us some direction - even the Greeks knew that zillions of years ago.(probably a bloke!) desparately
Sort of like the story about the wise old cat who finds a kitten running round and round in circles chasing its tail. When the old cat asks the kitten 'what are you doing?', the kitten answers 'someone told me I would find happiness in my tail, so I'm trying to catch it'. 'Funny,' says the wise one, 'I find that if I go about my normal work, my tail just seems to follow me!'
I recently bought a T shirt that I now use in seminars and across the front , in big bold letters are the words, 'He or she who dies with the most points...still dies!' Ain't it the truth! So , I wonder about what we value sometimes. It seems that most people are focused on winning the most points / dollars/ houses/ cars etc before they die - to the detriment of thier wellness.
It's essential to have a purpose in life - one that has some altruisitc aspects to it and not just materially driven! But what is the value of being so focused on a goal or purpose that all other aspects of life are excluded? Does winning that many 'points' really matter? How could you find fulfillment from other areas in life. Are you really fulfilled just scoring 'points'?
I recently read anor goals them,life
What about the 'single but desparate' category?! Have you ever noticed that when we are frantically searching for a mate the world is empty of eligible, single people? And the day we give up the frantic search; the day we begin to enjoy our own company and see the many benefits of not being in a relationship is the day the right person walks into us!
It's important to know what you want. To have a clear , precise and specific description in your mind of what it is that you want
How many people do you know that seem obsessed with winning these nebulous 'points'? And they're usually miserable! 'Points' don't matter - fulfilment matters; happiness matters; contributing matters; growing and developing matters; sharing and loving matters; having fun matters . And so on.
How many people tread all over others in the search for more points? They ignore theirs, and others, feelings and the emotional side of life. and end up having midlife crises because they realize how little time they have left and how unhappy they really are!
There's another, mopre humourous aspect to scoring points. John gray in his phenomonal book "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus' says that in relationships men and women have different point scoring strategies! Men truck casually along and when the woman does something wrong he whacks 100 (for example) points against her. These are quickly removed by her doing something to rectify the situation.
On the other hand....women. Women score small quantities of points against men much more often. And we bottle them up, and up and up until one day we hit the threshold! (another arbitrary figure!) and then BOY, does he get it. And we women don't just quote the latest 'straw that broke the camel's back'. We cite every incident from the last three months for which we scored points - in tremendous detail. We remember words, voice intonations and looks!
Another example of point scoring not always working. Much better to talk about issues along the way - and fellas.....don't accuse her of nagging! Constant communication is much better than the almighty blast we save up!
So Dear Readers, think about how you score points in your life. Is that all that drives you? Are there other ways to find fulfillment? And always remember, 'he/she who dies with the most points, still dies.'
, so that your subconscious mind (more of this next week) can lead you in the right direction, or help you see opportunities that have been staring you in the face and will take you in the direction of your goal. scoring points. John G (and/or grovelling)
