This newsletter is another one of my more personal ones - but many of you have been on my list for many years now and I feel like you are friends!
So, it’s been a big - no, HUGE, month for me. Of course, all this year ‘stuff’ has been brewing to be released and as God, Source, The Universe or Spirit - whatever works for you - had planned the preparation for a course I took.
I am a bit embarrassed to share this with all of you, but for some years now, I have felt a fraud at teaching about joy and not really feeling it - even though there was little obviously wrong in my life. In fact, I realized I was not feeling at all! I think I have mentioned this before…but for those new readers, all I could feel really was ‘numb’. I even had to look at a list of feelings to get some idea of what I was feeling.
I attended a course where my BFF, Lorraine from Breathing Enterprise, offered to work with me to get rid of any unresolved anger I had that might be blocking my feelings. She said I might have to process the feelings from past abuse - and I have to say, I was not looking forward to it in one sense, but I was SO ready to get past it and feel, that I was keen to do it!
Before I share what happened - read this with your judgment suspended! You may not believe in what I say and that is perfectly OK - just as it is OK for me to believe that it did happen!
On Monday, 2 weeks ago now, we sat down, and started to explore my insides!! And it took about 3 hours but I am very glad to say - I FELT at the end of it! LOL I know this will sound stupid to a lot of you - but there are probably many more who have shut their feelings down in response to feeling unsafe. But like me, they may not be aware of it. I felt peace. I felt like I could breathe deeply for the first time.
My block was a complicated past experience - and I actually felt and saw this in my minds eye as if it was actually happening in the moment I was watching. I was a mother of small children; a leader in some movement to help women have more power in their lives.
The men who were threatened actually took me and my children and told me they were going to kill the children and would torture them more if I showed any expression or made any noise - as this 'no reacting' behavior would make me a fraud in front of the other women.
You can only imagine what that does to a mother’s soul to watch that and as it was happening, I felt that my soul left my body in an explosion of light and at that moment, I remember thinking, with such pain in my heart - ‘how can human beings do that to each other?’; while I simultaneously thought ‘forgive them for they know not what they do’.
With Lorraines' excellent coaching, I came to see that it was forgiveness of MYSELF that was the primary act that would change everything. And it did!
That was a long introduction to the core content of this newsletter - forgiveness and in particular, forgiving yourself. THAT is the thing that changes everything else!
Once you forgive yourself, you can find it in your heart to forgive others. And if you can forgive yourself and others, then your peace is restored. And feeling peace is feeling joy!
I have learned to tell the difference when I have peace in my gut (where I actually feel most things) and not. And I am working on recognizing it, then finding out what fear lies behind the lack of peace and then letting it go or addressing it.
Peace in your gut is a great indicator of your level of joy - in everything. Without forgiving yourself and feeling compassion for yourself, that peace is hard to find - or feel!
So this is your mission - should you choose to accept it!
Give yourself 30 minutes every couple of days for a couple of weeks (if you need that long), and reflect on and write down all the situations in your life in which you need to forgive YOURSELF! Remember, if you are one that was abused as a little child - IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.
Or if you feel you have been a ‘bad’ parent or grouchy - be gentle on yourself. Forgive yourself and make a promise that you will be more conscious of how you behave!
Just forgive yourself no matter what - not even for anything specific - no need to delve - just decide to forgive yourself - and make a decision to be mindful and conscious of how you are behaving in every moment - and you won’t need to forgive yourself!
If it’s the little child in you that needs forgiveness - hug them and let them know you love them and you forgive them no matter what.
When you forgive yourself for whatever you have done in the past or have had done to you, you can then work on forgiving others.
You don’t have to feel great love for them or speak to them - just decide to forgive them. Most of us will never understand why things happen in the grand scheme - but we can chose to do what we need to in order to learn our lessons - or not!
Our lesson is often self forgiveness! And always LOVE - self love first, then you can love others.
If you can’t think of a way to forgive yourself, try the ancient Hawaiian Ho’oponopono Prayer - used for centuries to heal.
Repeat with as much feeling as possible:
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you
I love you.
You, the adult, can say this to you, the fearful, unsafe child trapped inside - or to you the adult who needs to be forgiven.
You can say it to anyone in person - or send the thoughts to them.
If you can really mean the words, it works faster! Start with saying them and grow into meaning them!
Above all - find a way to forgive yourself!
When you feel peace in your stomach (or heart) - you will know you have succeeded!
I NEED SOME HELP!
Would you like to ….
Be a more confident speaker?
An engaging and entertaining presenter?
Able to do great sales pitches?
Able to conduct yourself better in interviews?
Make speaking your career?
I have been asked so many times if I coach people on how to be a speaker that I have finally decided to write a program so you can learn it online!
Would you help me though by filling in this questionnaire to help me know what matters to you and what doesn’t?
What you would like to learn from me - or from any speaker program.
I would be so grateful - the more information I have, the more useful I can make my product!
Click on this link - and there is a small number of questions that would take about 5 minutes max to fill in! ZOOTIES and thanks!
