From Amanda's very early writing (1990s to early 2000s), shared as it was originally written.
MEN AND HEALTH - AGAIN!
Why do men die so much earlier than women? We're not physiologically superior - just mentally (just kidding guys - keep your sense of humor - it helps you live longer!).
Fellas, you don't have to die so early! After all , most medical research has been done on men, it used to be a male dominated profession and there is buckets of information available on lifestyle and health and it's effect on men.. So what's the matter with you?
Why do most of you make your poor mothers, partners, lovers, female friends and children nag you about unsafe habits? Why don't you stop smoking? Exercise more? Eat better. And relax. And laugh more. And be more silly and have fun. Why are you so wimpy when you have a minor illness and when you're really sick, we don't know until you're dead! Why do you take notice when a complete stranger tells you what to do, but you accuse us of nagging?!
Wellness is when we wake up with energy and vitality; women are good at ensuring everyone else's wellness , they're not especially efficient at looking after their own. But we are more aware of ourselves than men. Traditional approaches to health involve waiting until something goes wrong , then doing something about it. Men are spectacular at this!
Women (generally speaking of course!) are into wellness. Women tend to notice earlier than men that something is wrong with them. Before something actually falls off .
Unfortunately, women have a 'martyr gene'! Which means that when we have stopped worrying about everyone else, what they are doing, eating and feeling, we have time for ourselves and we may seek help. We have noticed something is wrong, it's just we don't allocate time to seek help earlier. Men often just don't notice anything is wrong! Until it's too late.
Men on the other hand, work well on the basis of crises. A man will wait until he's in intensive care or doubled up in agony ; or can't walk any more before he succumbs to seeking help. Or complying with the advice he has sought or been given.
I wonder if men really think about the consequences of their actions at the time. Do you guys realize when you are really enjoying a cigarette , or the buzz from overwork that you are creating internal havoc. I think many men choose to ignore what they know to be true. Like affairs. Some men will choose immediate gratification over thinking about the likely outcome of their behavior.
If someone says to a (mentally balanced) woman 'you need to drink more water to flush out you kidneys' she usually complies. Tell a man the same thing and you tell him every hour for three days before you give up in frustration, as he tells you not to nag him!
Women are generally more likely to take up regular wellness promoting activities like yoga, meditation, walking, seeing friends, talking about problems etc. We'll read books on improving diet, state of mind, health and relationships and if we're lucky, when we suggest he read the same books, he'll say 'just read me the relevant bits'! If we're really lucky, he'll listen!
Yoga , most men think is a wimp sport. Wrong! My Iyengar yoga teacher is a bloke and he's a real bloke who is a strong as any man I know and has a great body - all from yoga. He's 52 and has the face and body of a 40 year old. So for those men out there brave enough to have read this far, if you have any aches or pains or want to improve the shape of your body and feel great and younger at the same time, take up Iyengar yoga. It's fabulous exercise and keeps you flexible and fit. And often eliminates back pain.
Or take up walking 4 kilometres in 30 minutes. Yes, it is possible and you can do it! It keeps you fit and strengthens you hips and helps you relax. Do it instead of watching the TV at night.
Having presented at several conferences held by The Young President's Organization, a worldwide organization of young , very successful mostly males, I know that some men who are exposed to vast amounts of information focusing on their health and it's connection to their performance, do actually make changes! Of course being exposed to this information repeatedly does help!
Lots of these men meditate. Yes, it's true. Of course, if it was public knowledge that meditation helps relaxation, productivity, lessens the risk of heart attack, lowers blood pressure , reduces the long term impact of stress, improves concentration, creativity and imagination, increases energy and output , improves sleep and allows you to communicate better, maybe we would have more men allocating twenty minutes a day to this incredibly beneficial activity. Of course, it probably improves your sex life. (That should increase the number of men willing to meditate regularly! Golf is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, but is doesn't do for you what yoga and meditation can!
Recently, a doctor friend of mine told me the most effective way to stop men smoking was to inform them (the truth) that smoking increases the risk of impotence. In a big (so to speak) way. Every cigarette we have instantly reduces the size of all blood vessels. This means less blood pumps around the body. When parts of the body need hydraulic pressure (so to speak!) if the blood vessels can't carry enough blood, you know what happens! Or, speaking more accurately, doesn't happen.
Men need to learn to talk about their feelings. After they become aware of what they are feeling - no joke, many of us have lost contact with our feelings in the search for money and the race to live with more possessions. Try keeping a diary. Women who are working and raising a family and busy career women are also losing our natural female ability to tap into our own feelings. Being aware of and sharing feelings has a dramatic impact on heart disease. It reduces the chance of heart attack for those cynics reading this and muttering 'if we started to talk about feelings it would open a can of worms!'. Good. As long as we deal with them wisely. See a psychologist if you're struggling to cope on your own. It's smart, not a stigma.
Testosterone seems to bring in built competition and risk taking - both of which seem to add to the list of health hazards associate with being male. Perhaps it could be put to good purpose - fellas , take a risk and be different from the rest! Be responsible for your diet and health BEFORE you find yourself in the situation where there is permanent and irreversible damage.
Remember to take your vitamins , if you need them ,without expecting someone else to put them in front of you. Eat muesli or porridge. Eating any sort of breakfast is critical to wellness. Make enquiries for yoga by yourself and go to classes without nagging. Explore meditation and practice it daily. Read the books - not just the relevant bits!
Of course, there will be zillions of men who are already doing this - good on you fellas! You are extending your life - and that of your partner. She will live a lot longer and be much happier without the responsibility and strain of constant nagging (she nags because she doesn't want you to die early!) and watching your face distort with repulsion as she says swallow that!
Anyway, all the above will improve your sex life. I promise!
