"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't help the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you……. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone and as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."
Marianne Williamson spoke these magnificent words. To me they were awe inspiring and present a philosophy for being our best and for bringing out the best in everyone around us.
This idea is the antithesis of the Aussie 'tall poppy syndrome', in which we pull people down rather than build them up. (I know this cos I am an Australian!)
Imagine if we applied her ideas to our children; perhaps they would be filled with a sense of hope and optimism and confidence; they would grow into balanced and secure individuals who would in turn, make wonderful parents.
What do you do to recognize and intensify your brilliance? I can hear thousands of readers at this point muttering cynical 'she's a space cadet and ought to live in the real world 'type comments!
Well, I do live in a very real world and I see thousands of people every year who are embarrassed to admit, let alone show their talents, and who are mortified if someone else recognizes their greatness in any area. This is not a smart way to live.
Recognition (as opposed to 'constructive criticism') is the number one force that motivates people to be the best they can be. How do you recognize others and make them feel special?
I remember a story about Mary Kay Ash who created one of the most successful cosmetic companies in America. One of the most crucial concepts she taught her sales team was to imagine every person they met had a banner on their foreheads declaring "Make Me Feel Special".
If you recognize and appreciate your gifts, talent and endless potential, it frees you up to see the same things in others.
How many of us live our lives in the terror that someone will realize how inadequate we really are! We have all sorts of defense mechanisms that kick in to prove we are better, more competent, more capable, etc. than we believe we are. I was blessed with a mother who installed a belief in me that I could do anything I wanted to or be anything I wanted to be. I knew it would take work but I knew I could do it. What a gift.
Why not make this 'wonderfulness theory' (a name I just invented for Ms. Williamson's ideas) a regular general discussion in your home, at your work, with your sales or management team, with your family, with your friends? Each person tells the others what brilliance and talent they see in the other's presence. They outline aspects that are gorgeous and fabulous.
The only rules in this game are that everyone must be sincere and accept others comments graciously - without an internal voice that shouts 'BS' every time another compliments you; and that there is to be no sniggering or destructive muttered asides ! Play this game once a month to reinforce the beliefs. Repetition of sincere recognition is an extremely potent growth force.
And no - you will not be creating arrogant monsters! Arrogance is usually a cover up for massive insecurity anyway. However, you may be shining a light in the dimness of someone else's soul and letting them see their own talents.
But first you, as Marianne Williamson points out, need to see your own wonderfulness! If you have never thought about this before, do so now. Ignore destructive comments others have inadvertently or cruelly dumped on you and after reading Ms. Williamson's quote several times spend ten minutes every day identifying your brilliance.
Remember, by doing this you'll be giving others permission to do the same thing and you will be showing them the way.
