Amanda's Endorphin Injection!
"Phone Rage"
It's all very well talking about road rage and people pulling out guns at the stop sign, but what about phone rage? The United States has made this form of torture an art-form!I am fed up with talking to machines, leaving voice messages, and in particular, the following situations.
You ring a company and a human picks up the phone - 'great' you think - only to hear the words "Good morning, thank you for calling company X, please hold the line." Before you can say "OK" the human has disappeared and you are again listening to electronic stuff! You then stay on hold - on your cell - listening to elevator music, building your blood pressure, muttering explosive comments about this company and their customer service for anything up to five minutes, while the overloaded receptionist manages too many calls. At times when you are already frantically busy, and you have grabbed a precious moment to call this person, or you know they are going out in five minutes or it's urgent - being abandoned like this creates enormous negative emotion ( fancy language for anger, death threats, desire to scream, etc!)
Or this one which is a doozie! You ring a number and are greeted with what sounds like a human; just as you are relaxing and breathing, and about to utter the word "hello," you hear: "please listen to the following information to direct your call: for inquiries about statements press one; for information about transactions, press two; for details about your current balance press 712; for anything else press either 27 or 31; or stay on the line and a customer service representative will help you shortly." You then stay on the line for about three light years because you are desperate to deal with a human. You of course, continue listening to how sorry the company is to keep you waiting and that they are sincere in respecting your time is valuable.
Or worse, by the time you have listened to all the numbers you have forgotten the number you were supposed to press and there is no recourse. You have to ring again and grind your teeth as you listen to the entire process AGAIN. Or you press one and a mechanical voice says "sorry, your number has not registered, please select again."
But wait, there's more; you press 2 only to find that you pressed the wrong button! Oh #@#@# after holding for approximately 20 hours - you have to ring back or are transferred only to go through the whole painful saga again. This is phone rage at it's best. Four calls later you are ready to kill, and you spew all your venom out on the unsuspecting human who finally receives your call.
Then.....there is voice mail. You ring a company; you are delighted that you actually could speak to a human who didn't automatically put you on hold; you ask for the person you wish to contact; they happily put you through - to their voice mail! There are 14 other people to whom you could have spoken to so you don't want to leave a message; you slam the phone down and take a blood pressure pill. Or you continue listening to "the person on extension 7689 is unavailable or on the phone, please leave a message; or press zero to return to the switchboard."
Breathing a sigh of relief that this is one of those systems which offers you the zero alternative, you press zero. It doesn't work. You press zero again and nothing happens. You are now swearing and sweating, ready to kill. Vowing you'll never do business with this organization again.
But you have to call back. You are ready to snarl at the receptionist that you want to talk to a human; but you don't get that chance! Instead you hear, "This is XYZ company, our office hours are 8am (IT"S NOW 9.30AM) to 5pm central time; please listen carefully as our menu options have changed. To blah blah blah& .press blah blah blah and at the end of this list that takes 2 minutes which it seems like 25 minutes, it says for the operator press zero now..." you wait another 3 minutes and then finally - a human.
You beg s/he checks that the person is there before putting you through so you don't get their voice mail. They tell you they can't. You ask her/him to put you through to another person who might know where the one you want is. Guess what, their voice mail is on! You scream, throw yourself to the floor and have a tantrum - if you're wise! Otherwise, you'll be boiling inside and you'll be damaging your heart.
Why can't we hear a good old-fashioned busy signal? At least it indicates that the person you want is alive - that there's someone out there. So you keep trying and hooray, you finally hear a ring.........and you hear "the person on extension 7689 is unavailable........"
AAAGHHHHH
Message to readers - I became angry just writing this!!
PS to readers: MAKE SURE YOU ANSWER ANY VOICE MAIL MESSAGE FROM ME!!!!
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