Lately, I've been deeply absorbed in a series of books by Paul Selig, and they've made me think more than ever about fear, specifically, how it influences our decisions.
Have you ever really considered how you make decisions?
I thought I had…until these books made me question my entire process. They suggest that any decision made from fear will eventually come back to bite you. Even if just a hint of fear is involved, it can create complications down the line. That hit me because, honestly, I'd never truly examined how I make choices. I would just think my way through them, analyzing, planning, evaluating, without ever stepping into a place of true knowing and clarity.
At first, avoiding fear-based decisions seemed obvious. Who would knowingly choose fear? But then it struck me, I did it all the time!
I recently had a few important choices to make, and in one of those "aha" moments, I realized just how sneaky fear can be. It wasn't obvious, loud, or dramatic. It was subtle, lurking beneath my reasoning, quietly shaping my choices without me even realizing it.
That's the tricky thing, fear doesn't always show up as panic or doubt. It can disguise itself as logic, practicality, or responsibility. Unless we consciously shine a spotlight on our decision-making process and ask ourselves, Am I choosing this with any fear attached to it? We might never see it at all.
For example, I was debating whether to attend a seminar that I knew would be valuable. But I hesitated, telling myself it was too expensive. At the time, I thought I was just being responsible with money, but in reality, I was acting from a hidden fear of scarcity. And that fear stopped me from saying yes to something that could have been an amazing opportunity.
Now, this doesn't mean we should ignore logic. But there's a difference between discernment and fear-based thinking.
I've been training myself to shift out of my head and into my heart when making decisions. To listen to my gut rather than overanalyzing everything into oblivion. Because when we know something is right for us, there's no fear, just clarity.
How many times have you known you should do something, but fear held you back, and you regretted it later?
I've been there. Walking down the aisle for my first wedding, every fiber of my being knew it was wrong. But my mind, full of fear, told me I couldn't back out. “People are here. They'll be shocked. He'll be hurt.” So I ignored my gut… and what followed was far more painful than if I had just trusted myself in that moment. Can you relate?
Most successful leaders will tell you: they think things through, but ultimately, they trust their gut.
Looking back, I can see that almost every decision I made was influenced by fear in some way, not by my internal knowing. And honestly? Until now, I never even considered the difference between thinking and knowing.
For years, I made decisions by overanalyzing, second-guessing, and working through every possible scenario until I was completely drained. By the time I finally made a choice, I was so confused I didn't even trust it!
But here's what I've learned:
When you know, you know. There's no fear, just certainty.
When you think, fear has much more room to creep in and distort things.
So here's a challenge for you:
For the next week, before making any decision, big or small, pause. Ask yourself: Is fear involved? Am I thinking my way through this, or do I truly know? Is this coming from my head or my heart?
Try it out, and let me know what you notice!
Thank you so much 🙏❤️
Zooties galore to you!
Amanda
PS. I just had an article published in Elephant Journal it would be great if you popped over for a look to help support the magazine and help me boost my views LOL! Thank you!
