Wayne Dyer often used a powerful metaphor: “If you squeeze an orange, what do you get?” Of course, the answer is orange juice. His point? When life puts you under pressure, what’s inside is what comes out.
After 38 years of speaking, my last five have been the most transformative, not the easiest, but definitely the most rewarding. I had the privilege of spending time with Wayne and his amazing assistant, Maya, and lately, that metaphor has been resurfacing and making me reflect.
COVID brought its own lessons, and falling in love, only to be told I was one of three, added an unexpected ‘opportunity’ to learn. Then, moving countries again and settling in two different cities in two years taught me even more. All of this has had a profound impact on how I show up on stage.
What’s Changed?
I no longer prepare the way I used to. Sometimes, I don’t even know how I’m going to start until I’m walking up to the stage, and yet, the impact is greater than ever. I’ve been trying to pinpoint the “difference that makes the difference,” and here’s what I’ve discovered:
1. Your Emotional State Shapes Your Reality
My emotional state directly impacts how much work flows my way. When I let uncertainty, doubt, or fear creep in, those frequencies ripple through the quantum field and affect everything. If this sounds too “out there,” consider this: How often have you randomly thought of a friend you haven’t heard from in ages - only to get a message from them shortly after? That’s the quantum field at work. We are all connected, all the time. I have studied quantum physics since I was at college trillions of years ago! It matters!
Every thought we have holds a frequency or vibration that others pick up on, consciously or not. When I’m worried about lack or slowing business, I’m unknowingly emanating that signal. But as soon as I shift my internal state, stay in my hearts wisdom, opportunities start flowing again. Be very aware of what you’re feeling and thinking. Observe your thinking and stories. They are creating your reality.
2. What’s Inside You Comes Out on Stage
Wayne’s metaphor applies perfectly to speaking. Your internal state, your presence, your being, your authenticity - radiates from the stage. A truly authentic speaker doesn’t have to “say” they’re real. The audience feels it. To be a speaker who facilitates real transformation, mastering this becomes a superpower.
Being calm, present, and fully in your heart allows you to hold the space for the audience, so they can experience that same transformation. Genuine joy, energy, and enthusiasm radiates out from you to the audience and they resonate like a tuning fork.
I’m also a Yuan Gong Qi Gong teacher, having studied for seven years with a Chinese Master. One of the core principles is creating the qi field for your students - “qi” meaning information. My master, Yuan Tze, taught us to “set the field” before class. Speaking is no different. The field you create, by your internal state, thoughts, heart and presence - transforms a ‘speech’ into an experience that moves people.
3. Stop Rehearsing. Start Internalizing.
My first mentor, still the best speaker I’ve ever seen, would never let me rehearse. He insisted I internalize my message so deeply that I could focus on the audience, not on where I was in my speech. Rehearsing in front of a mirror might make you feel prepared, but it’s one of the most disconnecting things you can do. Worse, it sets you up for fear if things go off script. Having a ‘set speech’ stops you in many ways connecting to humans in the audience!
To truly connect, focus on the group - not the speech. Internalize your message so well that you can walk into any room, set your state, and focus entirely on sharing your message in a way that resonates and is a non-verbal conversation (literally) with the audience.
4. Master the Process, Not Just the Content
At Influence, I’ll expand on this, but my non-verbal mentor, Michael Grinder, taught me over 30 years that there’s a critical difference between content and the process of delivering it. Content needs to be relevant, up to date, and internalized. But the process, how you deliver that content, is the real magic that creates unforgettable experiences.
I’ve had clients come back to me literally 20 years after hearing me speak, repeating concepts verbatim that I taught them - concepts born from my own life experiences. They’ve passed them on to their children, who’ve done the same. That’s the power of mastering the process. It’s the ultimate superpower for any speaker, on stage, in meetings, in leadership, or in sales.
So, What Comes Out When You Are Squeezed?
When the pressure’s on, will the real, authentic, vulnerable you show up? Or does that idea fill you with fear? If it does, it’s time to go inward. Set your ego aside, settle into your heart, and focus on creating a deep connection with yourself, which will allow you to truly connect to your audience. Because who you are - when you’re squeezed or not - is what truly influences others. ❤️
