From Amanda's very early writing (1990s to early 2000s), shared as it was originally written.
THE A TO Z OF WELLNESS./THE GOOD LIFE
Hands up all those who are bursting with energy and vitality every day! Most people are too tired to put up their hands! The busy-ness, the responsibilities and the seriousness of living in the nineties make it difficult to survive from day to day, let alone have zest for life , enthusiasm and joy at being alive.
This is not good folks! Our lives have lost balance and we need to reestablish priorities - we need to have more fun while we live - in short we need to focus on wellness.
Wellness is an attitude; an approach to living that maximises what we have; it encourages us to accept and adapt; allows time to recharge our energy batteries; enriches our relationships; helps us learn and grow; gives us a sense of purpose and fulfilment - in general, thinking from a wellness perspective helps us balance our lifestyles and enjoy life more. A limited A to Z of wellness may give you an idea of the level to which we can be influenced by thinking this way.
A is for awareness of how we think, feel and live our lives. The ability and desire to take time out , realize what we like and don't like and change what we can; to acknowledge and learn to deal with feelings - our own and others; to step back and review our progress and change direction when necessary. In general, to raise ourselves to a new level of thinking. A is for attitude and adjustment which is necessary for many to stop being cynics and start being proactive owners of their lives!
B is for the blinding flashes of the obvious that are a characteristic of wellness. Things we have always known which have been pushed into the background by the urgency and pace of life. Realizing the truth and simplicity of many of our needs and creating time for them again. It's also for balance. Balancing work, home and fun and the roles we play in all those areas. Balancing time for ourselves, our loved ones and the ones for whom we work. Balancing growth and consolidation , activity and resting, in fact, everything! Be present - consciously. We often allow our minds to drift to (or live in ) the past or future. So we never enjoy what is happening to us right now or give it our full attention. We are worrying about things we have done and regretted or about things which may never happen. Beware of busy-ness - it robs us of precious moments that are pure joy; beware of victim mentalities and blame - they rob us of self esteem; and beware of closed minds - yours and others because they stunt our growth and ability to live life to the fullest. Breathing is the single most important key to reducing stress - RTB - remember to breathe!
C is for contentment that comes from accepting a wellness approach to living. For caring about ourselves and others and treating ourselves and other kindly. For communicating meaningfully - it's the only connecting tool we have for relating to others. For recognizing that life is full of choices which are ours to make - no matter how trapped you feel, there are always choices for you to make. It's for compatibility and cuddling and crying and closeness. For a career that gives you satisfaction and fulfilment.
D is for the delight that comes from allowing ourselves to embrace life and live it to the fullest. For writing in diaries which helps people find and explore their feelings - and helps men have less heart attacks. For depression busters - things that lift your spirit and mood. For decontaminating our homes. We unknowingly litter our homes with bits of work - on the dining table, in front of the TV, beside our beds - which constantly reminds our subconscious minds that we are working. Consequently we never completely relax in those spots. No wonder people have difficulty sleeping!
E is for exercise , of which we need lots! Or at least we need to walk four kilometres in thirty minutes four times a week - that's all we need to do to stay pretty fit. Even if you do five or six bursts of activity that last for 10 minutes a time (and make you puff) you will be boosting your immune system and giving your heart, lungs and all your body organs a good work out. Increasing the strength of our muscles helps us live longer - so when we hit 50 we should be going to the gym to pump iron- not taking it easy because we are older and weaker. E stands for the E Factor - energy, enthusiasm and excitement about life no matter how old we are. It's for emotions and for recognizing them and experiencing them. They are part of the richness of our lives and what make us caring, sympathetic, lovable and loving.
F is for families and friends who are critical for our wellbeing. We physically need them - not just emotionally. They boost our immune systems, they nurture our souls, and love us when no one else does! And for feelings which must never be closed off. When we either don't recognize or suppress feelings - especially anger and hostility, we may become ill . This does not mean go out and punch someone whenever you feel angry! It means be aware of those feelings and control them or find some safe (to you and others) outlet. If you can't flee and you can't fight then flow. It sounds so easy and we all know it's the thing to do, but it's often the most difficult challenge we can take on - to flow and to be, rather than 'do' all the time - we are human beings not human doings!
G is for growth and development - a lifelong journey. Experience and knowledge lift us to higher levels of living and understanding - even though some of those moments are painful. Stretching ourselves by doing new things , or by risking a trip outside our comfort zone helps us become more rounded and satisfied. G is for grinning not griping - start the day with a smile. Even though it's an overused cliche, it works! Others smile back at you. Gasp with wonder more often - at the beauty of nature, or the ones you love, at the richness of life. Give to others - for when you do you are really giving to yourself.
H is for healthy pleasures. A wellness lifestyle is loaded with pleasures that boost your immune system. Enjoyment is a key to a successful life. Things like talking to friends; facials; indulging yourself regularly; anything that you enjoy - just make sure that whatever you do , you really enjoy it. This of course does not mean you can pig out on ghastly fatty food regularly - but you can really enjoy a small pig out a few times a year! Help others. Studies have shown that when we help someone else we boost our immune systems and bust depression. Humor is another key to wellness. We sometimes take ourselves - and others - too seriously. We forget that life is a game and mistakes equal learning not failure. Children laugh many times every day. Adults are lucky to stop looking like they just sucked a lemon! Happiness is the final goal yet most people put it on hold claiming that 'when x happens I'll be happy' - happiness is a by product of leading a rich and full life. It consists of accumulated magic moments not the 'big bang' theory of happiness.
I is for the immune system - the source of our health. Our immune systems fight off disease. AIDS doesn't kill people. It kills their immune system which allows any old bug to kill them. For this reason we must treasure our immune systems and treat them with great respect. And I is for the intensity with which people inject into their lives. Too much intensity! We need to lighten up - laugh more and imaging the big picture every time the little picture crowds in on us. Promise yourself to inject humor into every day.
J is for joy. Pure, unadulterated joy at being alive; at having a family or children or animals that love you; at sunny days; at rainy days - at everything that we are blessed to have. No, I am not religious - I just believe we take far to much for granted in our society and we expect so much, that simple pleasures are ignored and we rob ourselves of much of the wonder in life. We need to grow down not up - and learn from the joy children find in every situation every day.
K is for kindness and kisses. When we are kind to others we boost our immune systems and feel good. Commit a 'random act of kindness' today - for no reason and see how good you feel! Kiss your loved ones - for at least seven seconds when you walk in every night from work, and kiss them when you first wake up. And again at breakfast. And all during the day. Phone a kiss through at lunchtime! I know it's corny but it sure makes you and the other person feel good. K is for knowledge. Without knowledge we stay in the dark. We don't have the skills to grow, develop, to handle new situations, to advance ourselves. Do what you can to continually upgrade your knowledge base.
L is for learning. And a desire to seek knowledge. Learning is a cure for depression; for sadness; for unfulfilment; for misery. It's exciting, challenging and fun and gives us a sense of pride and improves our self esteem. L is for laughter and lots of it! In everything we do. And for listening to our body which always gives us warning signs that something is about to go wrong. Often they are burning, tingling, tightness, stiffness, numbness, heaviness, dragging an discomfort. By the time we have pain - the damage is done! So listen up - we are given plenty of notice both of physical and psychological problems.
M is for massage. It' s not just a luxury - it's an essential part of wellness. Human beings need touch - premature babies thrive when they are caressed and handled. Toddlers will demand constant touching. We need it as adults. So hugs and holding hands and massages all boost your immune system. Reach out to others emotionally and physically when they are in need - that physical contact is a powerful way of connecting with another. M is for meditation - which is not a 'woo woo' new age thing! It's a wonderful way to completely and deeply relax and allow healing. It's easy and cheap and effective. Moderation in all things is known to everyone as a good thing - but few of us remember it until it's too late! John Tickell the Moderation Doctor says people who live to a ripe well old age lived their lives by the principle of moderation. M is for magic moments and memories - notice them as they happen and write them down or they slip quickly in to the forgotten basket. They are pieces of jig saw puzzle of happiness.
Non verbal communication is 80 - 93% of everything we communicate. The words are a minor part. Effective, meaningful, communication is integral to a wellness lifestyle. So beware of what you say to yourself as you speak to others because the message they get is hat you say to yourself - not what you say to them with your mouth! N is for nurturing ourselves and others. Doing what we need to give ourselves love and caring; and to love and care for others. Nourish your body with good foods that sustain you and provide the building blocks for health. Nourish your spirit with things that fulfill you and give you a reason to live.
O is for the "oh that's interesting' factor! Instead of reacting to every crisis situation with "OH NO!" instead stop, think and say "oh that's interesting"! It triggers the release of a completely different set of chemicals from the adrenalin that pumps out in response to "OH NO"! And for optimism. Being optimistic boosts our immune systems and helps us live longer; deal with every situation more effectively and generally makes us more fun to be around. Cynics and pessimists are pretty hard to deal with, let alone live with, for more than 5 minutes! And they are energy suckers!
P is for purpose in life. We need a purpose in our lives and in our work for us to feel satisfied and fulfilled. It's like a guiding light that gives meaning to everything we do. We need passion and to be passionate - about our lovers, loved ones , what we do and life. We must play regularly - and prioritize and plan for balance so that play is an integral part of our lives. Pets bring us joy - and reduce our blood pressure!
Q is for questions. Ask questions to help you understand others and yourself better. Instead of jumping in to fix a problem you or someone else has , ask questions to make sure you fully appreciate the issues and then ask more questions to help them solve their own problem. Question yourself and your motives for your actions - the insights may help you. Query what you hear from others. Advice from anyone - even professionals. If it doesn't feel right for you then don't do it. No one else knows you an your needs like you do. Have some quiet time - we need it for our souls to catch up with our bodies!
R is for relationships and romance. They are sources of great joy, pain, learning, growth and delight. We need quantity time not just quality time for our relationships; and we need to respect ourselves as well as others, so we can give the energy and love that are needed to nurture a satisfying relationship. Romance is water for the 'relationship plant'. Little things that say a lot - and the anticipation of the joy you will bring to someone else with phone calls to say I love you; with flowers; with cards; romantic dinners and weekends away is wonderful for wellness. Think of activities that will recharge your life batteries - and do them - once your batteries are re energized you can give to others.
S is for self responsibility - a BIG part of wellness. Victims, people who always blame others, the world, the economy, the weather or anything they can find are not well! And they won't be until they learn to accept responsibility for their own health, thoughts, actions and behaviors. S is for social support - the importance of having friends and family around us that help and care for us. These people are incredible boosts to our immune systems. Stress management is another 'biggie'! Stress affects almost everyone today and yet there are many things we can do to actively reduce, manage and control it. Learning these skills and implementing them lets us live much longer! Self love is critical for wellness. If we don't love ourselves then how can anyone else love us? And if we don't take care of ourselves who will?
T is for touch - we need more! And non sexual touch and well as sexual! Hugs, holding hands, cuddling and stroking all help to remove the stress that is stored in our bodies. T is for talking and not watching the TV! TV, although it may help some people unwind, is usually the greatest destroyer of communication is relationships. We should have at least 3 TV free nights a week and learn to talk (and listen) to each other again. We need triggers in our lives - symbols to relax or practice new behaviors before they become habits; and to recognize triggers of behaviors that destroy wellness (like smoking , lack of exercise, drinking too much coffee, eating the wrong foods, treating ourselves badly, anger, depression etc) - and then avoid them.
U if for unconditional love - for ourselves and others. Our parents gave it to most of us when we were babies; we give it to our dogs and pets; we need to give it to ourselves. Allow ourselves to be human - to make mistakes and mess up every so often. And for unwind strategies - specific activities that help us to forget the day at work and be in the right frame of mind to welcome our family or friends. Like listening to comedy tapes or beautiful relaxing music or singing on the way home! or exercising - swimming, walking, riding a bike; or having a massage.
V is for vitamins. Notice your diet and make sure it is full of the nutrients you need. Eat more fruit and vegies. Spend time in the sun (with suncream on) so you can absorb vitamin D. And explore the world of antioxidants to combat the ravages of living in polluted, busy cities. V is for the vitality that comes from leading a wellness lifestyle.
W is for being wise selfish as the Dalai Lama said. Notice when we need to take time and nourish ourselves. We mustn't ignore the needs of others and at the same time we must be aware of our own needs. Avoid worry - it's a waste of time and energy and achieves nothing. Do something about the situation if you can and if you can't stop worrying! Walk at least four times a week - or every day if you can. Think about workplace wellness as well as lifestyle wellness - how well is your workplace?
X is for crossroads! (Be fair - X is pretty hard!) We all hit crossroads at various times in our live when we make mega shifts and reevaluate our lives to date. Welcome them as opportunities to grow and add new dimensions to your life!
Y is for yoga - it's fantastic for your body and mind. It keeps both flexible, relaxed and strong. I love Iyengar yoga - it's vigorous and invigorating and no wimp sport! Both men and women would have far less back, neck and sport problems if they regularly attended yoga classes. And it's usually pretty cheap! And Y is for youthful thinking - I'm sure too many people grow old because their brain decided they were old! Think young and you have more chance of staying young.
Z is for zest for life. Waking up each day with a reason for living. Excited and enthusiastic about the wonders the day will bring. It comes from deep inside - from our spirit - that fabulous quality small children have that we lose as we grow older. We need to find it again and feed it.
So there it is - a sort of A to Z of wellness but there's much more! And that's what we'll explore in this column and we'll look at HOW to find our energy and vitality again, to achieve a life of balance and a state of peace, joy and contentment. Yes well, anyway you'll have a really good laugh!
