From Amanda's very early writing (1990s to early 2000s), shared as it was originally written.
TVFD'S VERSUS AFD'S
Men watch TV very differently from women! Women can multi track which means they can easily move from left brain to right brain and so, they can do more than one thing at once, which means that very few women watch TV in isolation. We usually read reports or books, write, sew , knit, or complete other tasks at the same time.
Men, on the other hand are (and I'm generalising here - there are always exceptions to the rule!) very good at being either right brain OR left brain , which means they focus very, very well. This means that when a man turns on the TV , he goes deaf!
And the worst weapon ever given to this man on this planet is the remote control! How men don't get RSI from constant channel surfing is a miracle. Channel surfing drives women nuts - because the man doesn't think we are watching , so he flips through 84 channels in nine seconds and we say ' I was watching that'! He says 'no, you weren't' And we can tell you what was on the telly!
TV is the single greatest destroyer of communication in relationships. It is impossible for most men and boys to watch TV and talk! Everyone sits down in front of the TV, conversation stops, play time with children disappears, reading is becoming a lost art and family bonding is becoming a non event!
Dr John Tickell, a great conference speaker and friend of mine, is famous for his recommendation of two alcohol free days per week - preferably in a row! Well, he has inspired me!
I think we need to have at least two TV free days per week. And at least one needs to be at the weekend. I can hear your gasps of shock , horror!
Would you suffer withdrawal symptoms? Would you get the shakes, stare blankly at the black screen, and listen to deafening silence?
If you knew it was only for a night , perhaps the withdrawal would be less painful? The Chinese have a saying that suggests the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. So with that first TV free night, the journey back to the 'art of conversation' has begun.
It is suggested that women speak about 24,000 words per day and men speak about 12,000. So , when a man gets home, he's done. When a woman gets home, she's only half way through! So while a man feels fine sitting and silently (but very happily) watching the night's telly, the woman has only used half her daily quota of words and she's now ready to use up her other half!
OK, lets say you take the plunge and as a family decide which nights or days you are going to turn off the telly. And you actually do it on the appointed night. You are all sitting around looking at each other wondering what to do. No - I don't want you to lose it and leap at the 'on' button after two minutes - hang on. Keep staring at each other. Very soon, someone will say something. And then you're on your way! Within minutes everyone will be chattering , laughing , bonding and gaily playing games like charades. Oh well, maybe it'll be like that the next night.
If you're worried about what other things you could do - here are some suggestions: gardening, crosswords, spend longer at the dinner table , all wash up together, cook together, sit around in front of the fire, cuddle, ask each other what good things happened to you that day, play charades, scrabble, or monopoly, (I just asked my flatmates what they would do and the man said 'have sex' and the female said 'you can still watch TV and do that'!). I give up.
