Well I don’t know about you, but 2012 was a MONSTER year for me! Enormous personal growth and deep realizations and I had many AH HA moments. Many of them were about me recognizing that what I didn’t like in others was really in me! LOL
How about you? How was 2012 for you? I think it’s a good year to reflect on as it was pretty full on for many of us.
Most articles that are written for the new year are around resolutions, the future and your resolutions for the year - but this year I think it’s is worth doing differently!
Mine this year is about FARC-ing! Many of you will know that I am not being rude but it’s my version of the neuro scientific formula for change!
For us to change we have to
FOCUS on what it is that we want to or need to change and become
AWARE of the triggers that drive the behaviors we want to change, then
REPEAT the new behaviors for at least 66 days!! And finally to
CELEBRATE ANY tiny little changes or big ones, along the way.
The brain loves celebration and uses it to stay motivated!
I am going to pose a number of questions that will help you FARC and may take a little time to answer because they need reflection but take the time!
It may save you having to learn the same lessons all over again in 2013! There are quite a few so you may need to just do one a week or one a month!
Find a book in which you can write all your thoughts and answers down, so you can look at them regularly during 2013 to remind yourself of what you said you would do!
Make it a family game!
You may like to do this in your alone time or share it with your family and make it a family game, or do both!
Perhaps at the end of this exercise, you can draw up an action plan of your own based on your new understanding of yourself and your needs!
Here goes….
1.What did you learn about yourself in 2012?
- What did you learn about others?
- How will what you have learned change the way you behave from now on?
- How specifically will you treat people differently?
- How well did you take care of yourself in 2012?
Did you look after yourself physically? How or why not? What else do you need to do if anything? Are there any new routines or habits you want to develop? Set some time frames around your actions.
Emotionally? Did you set boundaries to conserve your energy? Did you do things that make you joyful? What specifically did you do?
Mentally? Did you learn something new? Did you stimulate your mind? What was the best thing you did for your mental state? What activities and things did you do to relax and reduce your stress levels?
Socially? Did you connect with others and work to maintain your friendships? What do you need to change so you stay connected to people who love and care for you, or those who have had a challenging year and need your support?
Spiritually? Did you take time to connect with yourself? To love yourself? To accept yourself? To connect to your higher self or the Divine?
- What habits and patterns did you recognize? Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual?
- Did you identify the fear driving those patterns?
(hint, it is one of the three biggies…namely
- a fear that you are not good enough or worthy of love
- a fear that you are unsafe in some way (which leads to controlling behavior as you try to make yourself feel safe)
- a fear of abandonment, death or separation
Investigate the source of these fears or fear. Your inner toddler will be telling you a story based on these fears from it’s early experience in life.
Your inner toddler is still using it’s toddler thinking. It can’t possibly see things from an adult perspective! So you may need to be aware that the toddler thinking is controlling your actions and challenge it gently.
Teach your toddler that what happened was ‘not your fault’ and show it some other ways to view the reality of the situation. Review the perspective of everyone involved in the creation of that fear!
Rewrite your experience and beliefs so you can tell yourself a different story about your past! Our reality is only based on our perceptions, not reality!!!
- What was the best thing that happened to you all year? How did it make you feel?
- What made it the best?
- If there was one thing you could have done differently in 2012, what would it be and why?
- Is there a way you can do this ‘thing’ now or in 2013?
- Is there anyone you need to forgive from this past year? What is the story you are telling yourself about what they did to you?
- How are you going to forgive them? (hint: sending them love works if you can’t think of anything else and making the conscious decision to forgive them!)
- Is there anyone to whom you need to apologize and ask for forgiveness?
- How much did you serve others in 2012? Are you happy with that level? If not, what are you willing to do in 2013?
- How much did gratitude rule your life in 2012?
Were you a conscious good finder? Did you keep your gratitude glasses on? If not, what will it take to wake up to the power of gratitude as a joy switch? And what will you do to remind yourself daily of the power of gratitude for changing your life and unleashing your joy?
- How much did you laugh in 2012? Was it enough?
What can you do to have more laughter in your life from now on? Specifically make it a goal, set a number of times to watch comedy movies, play games, laugh with your family or do anything that normally makes you laugh!!
- How well did you love and accept yourself in 2012? What needs to change?
Hint, look at your core beliefs, the story you tell yourself about yourself!
Why don’t you love yourself or accept yourself unconditionally? Whose garbage is that?! We are ALL worth loving, YOU too!
- How well did you love and accept others in 2012? What needs to change?
It might be wise to start the year off asking each person you love this question:
‘what do I do that makes you feel that I love you?’
- What story are you telling yourself about
- yourself
- your life
- your partner
- your family
- your colleagues
- your work
- your boss
- your ability
and anything else you can think of!
If they are not positive, CHANGE them, decide today to challenge any negative stories - they are just fairy stories based on your perceptions and beliefs, not necessarily (or ever) reality!
- How much do you believe in yourself?
Belief in your own ability is a better predictor of success than skill levels! Choose to challenge limiting beliefs. Become conscious of your beliefs, it took me most of this year to uncover, dig up, discover and see several very destructive beliefs based on fear, like I was not worthy of love!! It was hard work but is changing my life!
I think that’s enough for you to have a VERY good insight into what you learned in 2012 and to set you off with a great plan for 2013!
New habits and patterns take a long time to establish! Remember, we need to FARC and once you have your new plan for 2013, then plan on how you are going to celebrate your successes!
Maybe you can plan a monthly celebration where you reflect again on these questions and check your progress?
You may wish to celebrate without champagne each time!! Although, hey once a month a glass or two can’t really hurt! Any tiny little celebration works! It doesn’t have to be huge each time!
So there you have it, a way of working out your own guide to joy in 2013!!
Remember the fast track to JOY is to
- connect to God (for me…you may need to insert ‘the divine’, Buddha, Allah, Source, universe, please don’t judge my use or belief, I am not starting off 2013 judging anything!) and
- to serve others.
But also remember, the single most important thing in life is how you feel about yourself because it affects EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE ELSE.
So how do you feel about yourself?
I look forward to hearing about your joy filled 2013!
Please feel free to send me an email or comment on our FB page with what you have learned! Or the things for which you are grateful!
Zooties!
