From Amanda's very early writing (1990s to early 2000s), shared as it was originally written.
Setting goals
I recently read an article (ABM May 1994) on Peter Singer's book "How Are We to Live?" , which is focused on ethics and self interest. He highlights a Greek psychological law called the paradox of hedonism. Which basically means that if we desperately pursue our own happiness or goals we rarely find them. To quote from this article, ' instead, happiness is found by those who turn aside from the search for it and do something else , some activity that they find worthwhile for its own sake."
Sort of like the story about the wise old cat who finds a kitten running round and round in circles chasing its tail. When the old cat asks the kitten 'what are you doing?', the kitten answers 'someone told me I would find happiness in my tail, so I'm trying to catch it'. 'Funny,' says the wise one, 'I find that if I go about my normal life, my tail just seems to follow me!'
What about the 'single but desperate' category?! Have you ever noticed that when we are frantically searching for a mate the world is empty of eligible, single people? And the day we give up the frantic search; the day we begin to enjoy our own company and see the many benefits of not being in a relationship is the day the right person walks into us!
It's important to know what you want. To have a clear , precise and specific description in your mind of what it is that you want, so that your subconscious mind (more of this next week) can lead you in the right direction, or help you see opportunities that have been staring you in the face and will take you in the direction of your goal.
give example
its like planting a seed. Nurture water feed etc and it grows
vs staring at seed in palm of hand
Then let go
I have written in the past about having a purpose in life, some meaning in your life and its impact on heart health - here's a new angle on it. Having a purpose in life leads us to happiness! It stops us thinking about ourselves, gives us some direction - even the Greeks knew that zillions of years ago.
uWhich brings me to my point. (and perhaps how you want it)
Be as specific as you can - describe it visually with loads of color and detail; put in sounds, feelings and movement. Make sure you include time frames - do you want someone or a few months? or a lifetime? Do you want whatever it is now, soon or in six months? Make sure you mention healthy and in good shape if it's a person! If it's a house or other material possession - include as much descriptive detail as you can.That clear picture acts like a seed that you plant in the soil. To grow , the seed needs to be watered regularly - so visualize your goal / want/ desire in vivid detail daily - just for a few seconds each morning imagine your dream and see and hear and feel yourself acting as if you had already achieved it. And then the seed needs to be left alone.
There is an old Chinese saying that suggests we cannot make the rice plants grow faster by pulling them up to see how they are progressing! In the same way, once your desire or want has been fully defines and described by you, 'let it go'. In other words, forget about it and let your subconscious mind do 'it's thing' which is to bring about what you order.
Imagine going to a restaurant and deciding what you would like. The more specific you are the more likely you are to be given what you want. Once you have delivered your order you relax and concentrate on the other things that happen at dinner - conversation and enjoyment. You don't spend the entire time (Well, some people do!) anxiously looking at the kitchen worrying about when the food will come or how it will come. You trust that the chef and waiter /ress have taken your order and that it will be delivered.
Anyone thinking I am bordering on new age here should stop and think about the number of times in life that what you desire has a funny habit of turning up just when you had forgotten about it or had given up!
So the recipe for reaching your dreams and wants and goals is to make sure you know what you want; clearly and vividly describe it ; then trust that your mind will bring it to you on a 'platter' ! Remember, you need to water the seed for it to grow and then leave it alone - so focus and vividly imagine your want daily for a few seconds. Let me know how you go!
And then go about your daily activities - do 'some activities worthwhile for its own sake'. Trust me, it works!
