From Amanda's very early writing (1990s to early 2000s), shared as it was originally written.
Dishwasher - friend or foe?
While holidaying last week, my cousin opened my eyes to a new dimension in relationships. How many of us save madly so we can buy a dishwasher? We think that life will be so much easier when we have one!
And indeed, life after a dinner party , or life with small children is much easier when a dishwasher ( the machine kind!) is there.
But what about the time we would spend together washing the dishes? That time when we could talk, communicate , grow closer. Now, I know it's not your ideal romantic interlude - washing up with passion! But it's the principle.
'Labor saving' devices like dishwashers do make a difference. And what do we do with the time they save? Watch TV. Thereby reducing even further the opportunity to talk and share time together.
When I was young - should I say younger! - we would take it in truns to wash and dry the dishes and I do remember mindlessly chatting to my mother. Or if I am visiting impoverished friends who can't afford ( or God forbid - don't want one) this mechanical decadence and I hlep with the washing up - guess what we do? Talk! And connect - for want of a better word that means grow closer ; or pay attention to each other ; or really listen to what the other says; or discuss something that we haven't had time to do before.
Perhaps it's not ideal to chat over the dishes, but if you do use a dishwasher what about setting the time you would normally have allocated to washing up as a talk fest?! Or do something romantic for the same length of time it would take to washup. Or sit at the table (away from the TV) and have a cup of (camomile) tea and talk about the day; the future; yoru holiday etc.
If you are single, then use the time to pamper yourself. In other words, no matter what your status, why not make the dishwasher doubly useful. It can save you the hassal of washing and drying up and at the same time free up your time to do something meaningful and beneficial - no tjust free up time fo ryou to work harder!
unger! - we would take it in tur as we did this togetherhelp; or just be togetherwash upchamomileshassle meaningful and beneficial - no just free up time fo
The other interesting incident that prompted me to think about this was dinner a few weeks ago. With my best friends. Two of the most happily married couples I know. And Jan was telling me about the 'television that broke down'. I can sense you cringing out there fellas!! (Ha , ha just joking) Anyway, it broke down and she and her delightful husband decided not to have it repaired to see what sort of impact it would have. Now, this is to a couple who have a great relationship; who adore each other and always have lots to talk about.
The result said Jan, was dramatic. She said that they talked to each other more that they had for years! And they read more books than they had for years. She said it was terrific. And we all know that once a man turns on the TV, he goes deaf!!
So it is with children. Have you ever noticed the concentration and complete absorption effect the TV has on children? It's frightening! They don't ever experience nights of sitting together , the whole family reading, or playing scrabble or monopoly or charades - or even just talking. Just doing things that we used to do before life became 'laser- life'. Often children don't even see their fathers before they go to bed during the week. SHAME! And we wonder why our kids grow up with drug problems or learning difficulties or are 'poorly adjusted' or having relationship problems etc.
Maybe it's time to re evaluate how much time we spend together during the week? I know that the usual catchcry is 'yes, but we have quality time instead of quantity'. You know, I'm beginning to think that with the speed of life today, we need QUANTITY time AND quality time. It's takes longer to maintain the bond when everything is so frenetic - including school!
So , you see that's what prompted me to write this article on how 'modern conveniences' have affected our lives. Sure, they have freed up time from domestic ,boring, routine tasks - but have we used that new found time wisely? Or are we just jamming in fifteen other busy tasks that keep us apart ; or stop us doing something we would like to do for ourselves?
