I received a wonderful letter from a Mrs. Doherty, in response to one of my previous articles, which reinforced my beliefs on the importance of a housewife. It's unfortunate many women are embarrassed to respond to the question of "what do you do?" with "oh, I'm just a housewife." (Not that there are many of them left!) Mrs. Doherty has noticed a change in the way we live our lives these days -- from the gentle world of her youth, to one of fast food, rushing, urgency and never-ending chaos. As a business career woman who had been very successful, she chose to make a new career based on her family, and had some insightful comments on the value of a homemaker that I think are worth sharing. To quote,
"I'm one of the few females who admit to being truly happy. I work at home, rather than outside now, and make a comfortable, happy and secure support base - with clean sheets and towels, freshly ironed clothes, good food and wine - a place of security and peace from which my family and husband (yes, I call him my husband - not partner) can sally forth to confront the world. And I have all the time in the world now for me. When asked by various power-dressing, assertive, career-oriented females, 'what do you do?' I love the look of bewilderment on their faces when I can answer truthfully and happily, 'whatever I like!' As a wise person once said,' I make life livable, while my husband makes the living.' "
Hey, where can I get a wife like Mrs. Doherty?! In fact, she and I agree that a major requirement for any person with a full-time career, regardless of gender, is a good wife. Trouble is, these days everyone wants a wife and no one wants to be one! So I'm here to shout from the tree tops about the tremendous value of a wife - male or female. Someone who helps make our lives more livable; someone who cares for us and loves us; and someone who delights in making the outside working person's burden and load easier to carry.
It seems we have relegated the 'irritating' everyday aspects of living that need to be done for daily life to continue smoothly, into a "scorn box." And one would never aspire to be a housewife or admit to actually enjoying ironing, cooking, cleaning, doing other chores or running errands. We are all so busy, the only way these extra duties get done is to use pleasure, relaxing or unwind time.
So we have cleaning people, gardeners, personal chefs, nannies and all sorts of other help…which is great if it's really what you want. But I know huge numbers of women who clean the house BEFORE the cleaner comes, so it's not too messy! (Not smart folks!) Or who aren't really happy with the food that's prepared, or clean again after the cleaner because it's never good enough!
Someone out there should start a business called Rent-a-Wife! How wonderful would it be for someone to come to your house every weekday; wish you a warm goodbye before you leave; play with the children and keep them smiling and loved while you are gone; clean, wash and iron; make cookies; prepare dinner; and fill the house with comforting smells and inviting light, as they greet us with warmth, caring and love on our return from the career jungle? (Or if you're single, do all of the above without looking after the children -- more like the Rent-a-Mother model!)
In an age where independence is paramount and we all strive to leave home and live on our own as quickly as possible, perhaps we are losing sight of the importance of nourishment and support at home - for our wellness, career and general satisfaction with life. Granted, many dysfunctional families may never have had this supportive environment, although I wonder if, in those households where both husband and wife worked, if it was a situation which generated two adults too exhausted to put in the extra time to create this sort of home life, for themselves or their children.
Even housewives could use a wife! Being a housewife (or househusband) is very often a thankless task - toiling away at all the unseen, unrecognized, seemingly insignificant details - yet it's these details that ensure the home works smoothly and supports the nurturing closeness, growth and learning that creates a cherished family life. A wife/househusband is the glue that holds the family unit together!
Many women would like to be able to stay at home and be that glue, but they can't afford it. Sometimes I wonder if we have become too driven by the dollar…or could we be happy with a little less affluence, less possessions, smaller house and a lot more love, energy and vitality?
So let's hear it for people who are happy to be homemakers - they do a fantastic job! This month, make sure to recognize and graciously thank the people in your life who have helped you create a cherished home life…whether it's your wife, husband, mother, father, children, family or friends - they have earned a well-deserved TA DA!!!
