From Amanda's very early writing (1990s to early 2000s), shared as it was originally written.
Image rehabilitation
I was astounded to read an American (of course!) magazine story last week and see the words 'image rehabilitation'! Not only do we have 'home invasions' now - what was the matter with burglaries? - bu tnow we have 'image rehabilitation'.
I guess image rehabilitation means that someone realises everyone hates them or thinks they are a moron and decides to change their image. I bet they even have image rehabilitation consultants! Can you image it - 'time for your therapy Mr Boring. Today we are going to cover interesting conversation and how to chat'.
Anyway, after I'd stopped rolling around the floor laughing I thought about the concept. And perhaps at new year it's a good time to think about the image or perseption people have of you, and you have of yourself more importantly.
What do you believe about yourself and the way you behave and react? Are they useful beliefs - that is positive ones? Or are they negative junk that you absorbed as a child from parents, siblings, peers or teachers? Are the things you believe about yourself really true? As you think about them does your gut feel say this is right? Or do you have a sense of discomfort or disbelief?
,from parents, siblings, peers, or ex lovers
More important than any other new year resolution , this idea of what you believe yourself to be will determine how others perceive you and react to you and treat you. It reminds me of an old saying I heard Ron Tacchi use at a conference - "what you are shouts so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying". What you believe you are.
Take some time out to stop and reflect on these ideas. Life has not fired up to it's normal pace yet so you may have a chance to spend 20 minutes on yourself. Do you need 'image rehabilitation'? For yourself - not others. Others impressions of you will change as soon as your own beliefs change.
Superficial changes will not last and although people may think there's a change, it may be even more damaging if they are lulled into a false sense of security and then dissapointed - again.
perceptiondisappointed
It may be worthwhile to start thinking at a values level. Do you perceive yourself as honest, trustworthy, reliable? A good friend who makes an effort to stay in touch, be there at tough times as well as good times? A tender, thoughtful, involved, caring lover, child, sibling, parent? Are you driven by money or the need for it or lust for it? Is helping other important for you? Is the community or environment something you care about strongly? The list is endless.
Cover all aspects of your life and determine how you feel about each one. And when you have done that ask yourself do my beliefs and behaviors match? Because if they don't , not only are you giving out mixed messages to others but you may be fooling yourself. Your behaviors usually indicate beliefs - although the situation or context you are in may exert a strong influence. If you are very stressed, your behavior is often different from a time when you are in relaxed or in control and have time to think.
After you have done that little bit of 'image housekeeping' (why shouldn't I come us with some ridiculous phrases as well?!) , it might be useful to think about how others perceive you. Ask them - scary as it is. Then reflect on what they say and if the image doesn't match what you thought they would say ask yourself what have they seen and heard to feel this way? Ask them what they have based their impression on - ask for specific instances.
It's astounding to discover the subtleties others pick up - and sometimes frightening to uncover that what we thought was the truth about us, may not be! Or may not be seen by others. It's good fodder for soul searching!
Maybe 'image rehabilitation' is for those who have spun to the bottom of the spiral? Perhaps 'image housekeeping' is what well people could do - a preventive measure, an annual clean out , a reflection on who we really are, and on opportunity for others to see who we really are. And love us of course!
