From Amanda's very early writing (1990s to early 2000s), shared as it was originally written.
misery contests
How many people greet you each day - or even once in their lives - with "Hi , what's the best thing that's happened to you to day
Not many I bet. And if they did what would your reaction be? Shock? Would you sort of stand there stunned?
It appears to me that most people are out there to have misery contests! You know the sort of person - the one that replies when you ask hi - how are you? with 'not so good. All these things have gone wrong, the dog died, my piles are bad, the house needs painting, the children have got measles and my car broke down'! Which immediately prompts you to respond with as many things you can think of that went wrong ove rthe same period adn before you know it you're hotly embroiled in a 'go for the throat misery contest'!' And you felt quite good when you met them!
So be wary of those who greet you with misery and negativity - for whatever reason they manage to drag most of us down,''Thean think of that went wrong ove the same period andou met them but you feel miserable now!. Just for a week don't ask everyone you meet 'How are you?"; instead ask what's the best thing that's happened to you since I last saw you?'. And watch their faces as they progress through 'what did they say?......to what was the best thing? Then see their faces light up as they remember the good things and temporarily forget the rest.
If you find someone can't remember anything good that happened, maybe you are doing them a big favor. You may be the trigger that starts them looking at life in a more positive way.
It doesn't matter if people think you are a little mad! They'll get used to it if you do it regularly. In fact they'll probably start saving up 'good' events so they have something to talk to you about!
What if you made it routine at the dinner table to ask each other 'what's the best thing that happened to you today?' - imagine the response! Knowing that you would be asked this question each night would make you focus and look for the good things suidical,canone (they never answer with the truth anyway! They always say 'fine thank you'words and body language that says 'terrible!"; ..., if they know you will be doing this, during the day. It's a great habit to have your children develop. We may complain about our children being lethargic or unmotivated but what do we model for them? Are we happy and motivated over dinner or are we complaining and being miserable ourselves?
Looking for good events each day, no matter how small; or recognizing and appreciating moments of joy change the whole calibur of our days. It ahifts the focus of our minds and makes us someone that gives others energy.
Have you ever noticed how you meet some people and they leave you feeling great and re energized? And others come along and 'suck you dry!' , drain your energy so that you feel like a washed out rag? If these people won't become more positive, then avoid them! And hang out with positive types who are willing to dwell on the good things rather than the misery.
What do you think about just before you go to bed? Most of us worry about the things that are not going well or that have gone wrong that day - so we can stay awake for hours afterwards! And feel crook in the morning! Why not try this strategy just before bedtime? Count the number of good things that happened to you that day, think about them for a while and you'll be asleep before you know it!
Become a competitor in the 'how many good things happened to you today?' contest - avoid those misery contests - you'll feel better, live longer and laugh more!
