From Amanda's very early writing (1990s to early 2000s), shared as it was originally written.
Mother's day
Well, it's that time of year again when all the newspapers advertise a range of kitchen labor saving devices for 'mother'. What makes people think that all women (especially mothers) crave for a new kitchen whizz or a fabulous toaster , rice cooker, iron, washing machine or microwave?
No! We want is diamonds - preferably big ones! Ha ha just kidding. Emeralds , sapphires or rubies would be fine! Think about it - if it's our 'special day' why not give us something that really makes us feel special - not something that means we can iron everyone's clothes more easily.
Give us an ironing person for a year. Now, that's a present! Give us a cleaning person for another year - free up our time so we can go out and enjoy ourselves - by doing nothing - guilt free. And if its' too expensive to pay for someone, offer to do the washing, cleaning, cooking etc yourself. And do it for more than one week!
Have cooking lessons so that two or three nights a week you will not only cook but also plan the whole meal - meaning you will buy the food, prepare it, cook and present it and wash up afterwards. (Keep breathing - you can do it! She does - every day) What a joy for her to have two or three days a week where she doesn't think of food the first thing in the morning - and can look forward to smelling exotic (or even ordinary) aromas coming from a meal she is not cooking! And refuse to let her help you - tell her to kill the guilt gene!
Most women have a 'guilt gene' - we can't help ourselves. We are much less likely then men to do something for ourselves like spend money on ourselves or have a massage or treat ourselves or take a few hours off. A man can go and play golf happily for eight hours and not for a nanosecond does he feel the slightest twinge of guilt! (He probably doesn't think about you either!) Women are often plagued with guilt the whole time we are supposed to be enjoying ourselves! Especially if we are mothers.
So , why not think of a mother's day treat that is guaranteed guilt free? Organize child care, and everything else that needs to be done if she goes away for a week - or weekend. Make sure you cover all bases so that she can really relax. It's almost impossible for a woman to completely relax at home -because there is always something to do.
And while we are watching TV we are thinking "I'll just pop the washing on and do the ironing while I'm watching" or "I'll work on the report for next week as I'm sitting here" etc! So for a really special event, take her away and plan for everything to be taken care of while she is away.
Think of gift vouchers for a massage, a facial, a pedicure, a manicure - anything that makes her feel pampered. Do not buy her a sensible nightie - or pyjamas - she probably has hundreds anyway! Instead, buy something frivolous that she would admire but never buy herself - the guilt gene stopping her by saying to her "I really should spend the money on the children".
Or write your Mum a letter that expresses how you really feel about her - all the gifts for which you are grateful. Pretend there's a chance you will never see her again - what would you like to have made sure she knew about your love for her and how much you appreciated all the times she has supported and loved you. Remind her of special moments with her that you recall with great joy , tenderness, laughter or love.
Or cook her breakfast on 'the' day! My wonderful mother endured years of these 'special' treats from me - the poor thing had to eat and smile her way through a hideous mess of food and then clean up another mess in the kitchen afterwards - looking fantastically happy and grateful the whole time! My Mum deserves a medal - as most Mums do.
Give her tickets to the cinema so she can see movies by herself or with whomever she likes. Tell her you will plan and cook the meal that night - so she can leave early, have dinner out and relax at the movies; knowing she will come home to a clean kitchen instead of a nightmare that will take two days to clean.
Or give your Mum a note that promises you will faithfully stop doing the things that drive her nuts! Pick up your clothes and put them in the washing basket; or do your own ironing; or eat with good manners; do your schoolwork without fifteen warnings; eat with your mouth shut; keep your elbows off the table; eat all your vegetables; or turn off the TV and help her - whatever it is that you know would mean a lot to her. Save her having to nag for a month.
Maybe it's too late for this mother's Day - she's just unwrapped the toaster- or worse - the Black and Decker power drill (shame on you)! If that's the case, file this article away for next year - better still, buy a book and ask your mother to fill it in during the year with special treats she would like to receive - then take your pick! And when there is a good list there - perhaps Mother's Day could come every couple of months - just cos she's a great Mum.
PS I love you Mum (who is 72 and has a personal trainer!)
