Wow, forgive me all of you readers out there! I had lots of people who responded with favourable comments saying it was good material for their customer service training and on what pain the folks that finally speak to them have been through!
Or giving me other frustrating scenarios …and a few from those I disappointed by being so negative!
Forgive me, I didn’t mean to depress you or make you angry just reading it. It was meant to be tongue in cheek! As well as being the truth for me.
So to make amends here are my solutions!
Firstly, I do think that there may have been a little male /female stuff happening here, it was mostly men that were disappointed with the negative flavour of the article. Maybe because when women are stressed we tend to talk about the issues, and we talk and talk and talk and talk until we have covered all the things bothering us; so we can discuss problems and never a solution and we feel better just because we expressed ourselves!
Of course, I am generalising and there will always be exceptions to the rule…men have a tendency to want to fix things rather than just endlessly and seemingly pointlessly discussing them.
So that may account for some of the responses! And if it does, then most women are happy to just discuss phone rage and how much they hate voice mail etc and then laugh and move on! Fellas, for you here are some possible solutions!
I could not think of many ways to resolve the problem, resolving the ‘rage’ is simple, not necessarily easy but relatively simple! The situation we cannot change but our response we can as my mate from Ireland pointed out!
Imagine this. 3 women sitting in a house on a hill.. they see a thunderstorm in the distance coming towards them. One woman has been terrified of thunderstorms since as a little girl she was caught in one and very frightened. Another woman loves them, she has always been fascinated by the lightening and wonderful heavenly fireworks display. The third woman doesn’t care or think about thunder storms, they just are!
As they watch this storm approach, what do you think happens to their physiology? The woman who is fearful releases all sorts of stress hormones as the storm nears…her heart rate increases, she breathes very high in her chest; she feels panic; she sweats and might even feel faint!
The second woman who loves the storms is excited, she too has released chemicals into her bloodstream but they are the hormones of happiness! She is smiling, looking and feeling happy.
And the third lady is just sitting peacefully , content with what she is doing, there are no extra chemicals going anywhere! She is wondering what the other two are getting excited or fearful about!
Exactly the same situation is causing 3 completely different chemical reactions. Actually it’s not the situation, it’s HOW these women are reacting TO the situation.
It’s what they are saying to themselves about the oncoming storm. And those inner thoughts or words are causing their bodies to respond in particular ways.
So by changing what we say to ourselves about various things that concern us, worry us, make us fearful or happen to us , we can change the way we react. It’s our perception of what is happening to us. Notice what you say to yourself about situations or people that cause you concern, stress or pain. And then consciously make an effort to change that, be aware and then use different more positive words to describe what you are about to encounter.
In terms of perception, studies are showing that loneliness and isolation are very serious factors in the development of disease or heart attacks or in the curing of diseases. BUT it is not necessarily true loneliness or isolation, it is a person’s PERCEPTION of feeling lonely or isolated! They could be surrounded by 100’s of people and still be feeling lonely….and that is potentially very harmful.
So how did I perceive the phone systems now in place? I USED to (note I say USED to!) think before I made a call, ‘I suppose I will have to leave a message’..or ‘I hate voice mail’ or ‘UUGGGHHH’ and then slam the phone down!
Now…..I do the same thing, JUST KIDDING!
I am working on changing what I say to myself about the systems! However I must say, that if I had all the time in the world and worked in an office all day every day of the week, I would not mind voice mail so much.
However, I travel all the time (literally) and have limited amounts of time when I am available to speak with people, so although I leave messages with when I am available and ask when would be convenient to call back….it is still a challenge for me to not be frustrated at the phone tag that goes on! So those of you who admonished me, have mercy! There are time constraints that make the monster (sorry, change that to little weeny thing!!) MORE frustrating..
BUT I have of course, modified my thinking and now am less concerned about having to leave messages..I do not have to grit my teeth as I have to press 13 buttons to find technical help….i will instead, expect this to happen as a sign of the modern world disconnecting us all and be prepared to breathe and be calm; (I AM STRUGGLING HERE DEAR READERS!) as I think of these potential scenarios ..I am tensing up..no, no I WAS tensing up ….I am breathing again now.
Instead I will have faith. Have faith that this person whom I am trying to contact will call me when I am available and that we will make a connection. We will actually hear each others real voices. YES, I WILL have faith.
And then I will look for the positive aspects of phone technology…like I can leave messages for my mother or the man in my life; I can send people messages of love for when they turn on their phones again or for when they arrive home or to work; I can leave messages in the middle of the night at work to save me doing it later in the day; (HOW AM I DOING??) I can learn to do other things while waiting for the appropriate series of buttons to be pressed; I could pretend that it will actually get me to the person I want more quickly and save me having to wait while a human looks for this person; I can even leave myself a message as a reminder…..SEE there are many good things about machines.
Sigh. It is only partially working folks. I still dislike voicemail intensely.
However the good news is that I am building a bridge and getting over it!!!
In short the best summary I have heard of how to deal with such phone trauma was given to me by a woman at a conference. She has a friend whose 8 year old boy said to his mother, when she was complaining about a bad day,
‘look Mom, life is tough, wear a helmet!’
So , that’s it! I am saying to myself from now on
AMANDA, LIFE IS TOUGH. WEAR A HELMET.
I can then beat the phone to a pulp with that helmet!
JUST KIDDING ..LOL
Happy messaging!!
