From Amanda's very early writing (1990s to early 2000s), shared as it was originally written.
'Real Woman'NEEDS WORK JASON!
NI had a very interesting exoerience last night. I went ot dinner with some friends of a colleague. And met a very interesting couple.
He was 40ish , never been married because he believed that relationships should develop slowly aver two to three years ans most women wanted to know ' where there were going' before then. She was mid thirties and what I discovered men call a 'real woman'.
This was intriguing to me, so I asked my (male) colleague what was it that she had , apart from an obviously stunning figure, that was discreetly flaunted and used in the most subtley provocative way I had ever seen. Not to mention she was very comfortable with her shape and knew very well that men (and women) noticed it immediately and continued to admire it.
Well, it turns out that for most men (given there are always exceptions to the rule) love walking into a crowded place, or down the street or going anywhere if they have a woman with them that is the envy of other testerone filled males! They love to think that every other male within five kilometres is thinking 'lucky bugger' about him! I guess this boils down to the old
v in the group undeniable, driving force of most men - testosterone. Which causes them to compete in any arena they can find.
What I learned out of this was that if I wanted to do something non verbal to make a guy feel good , I would do my best to find a good wonder bra (and supplement it with socks) , wear 'stocking panty hose' (I learned that these exist and are , according ot the males of last might , very sexy), a short skirt and move in a slow and deliberate way (instead of my usual frenetic pace as I plunge on towards our destination. In other words, I 'd go all out to make sure that he could show off his 'catch' in the knowledge that all other males were jealous!
Now, I can hear the feminists and some men calling out - not true! How sexist! But let's peel away the layers folks. How many of us do our best to look awful when we are going on a date? Why do we dress up? Because we want to look good for our partner. And women love other women to come up an tell us how handsome our man is and how lucky we are - we just don't feel the need to compete as much - cos we don't have as much testerone.
Anyway, it's worth reading this because I have a sneaking suspicion that most men feel like this they just don;t admit it!
So what else made her a 'real woman' apart from voluptiousness? She laughed at their jokes - with a peal of feminine giggles - that did seem genuine before too many of you gag out there!
And here is the big one - she knew what she wanted. Physically, emotionally and she let him know what was acceptable and unacceptable.
behavior - very clearly. In other words he knew exactly where he stood. The more I thought about htis the more I realized I had heard men say this before. I think women are the same - we like a man who knows who he is, what he likes and what is acceptable behavior. It's easy to write but I think it's a big ask for most people!
Knowing who we are and what we want and like sounds simple but involves considerable soul searching and maturity for some. But it's an interesting quality to head for. Maybe that's why we want people to accept us just as we are - because we may not have worked out exactly who we are yet!
Especially , I think they like a woman who is comfortable with her sexuality and who knows what she wants in bed - or out of it - and can tell him; so he doesn't have to awkwardly fumble around hoping he stumbles on a winning formula at some stage! thismany times
Of course, in relationships and being happy with our sexuality , Others just seem to have known from school days. If you're in the former categorytrait, and we're hoping they'll hang in there and support us while we search
Either way, it was a very enlightening evening and I'm definately not fighting the testerone any more - I'm off to buy a super wonder bra!
She also made it quite clear that she was happy to give and do things for her partner but...she also thought and made it clear that it was a two way street and she wasn't going to be the only one giving. Part of me cringed at this , but the more I thought about his the more I realized that it was smart! It indicated a sense of self respect - she believed she deserved just as much as her partner. Lots of people secretly believe that they are unworthy of being 'spoiled' as she put it.
mental statedevelop - or help us with the searchdefinitelyost with a pair of thick walking socks
