Whew! You made it. You survived last year and now another Valentine's day is approaching!
No doubt, last year you were deluged with cards, gifts, phone calls - and the excess flowers delivered to you decorated several wards at the nearby hospital! And you were beating anonymous admirers and lovers desiring to be with you away with sticks.
Isn't it a shame that we have a huge flurry of loving activity on only one day of the year? We plan, think about and organize all sorts of romantic ideas that renew or rekindle the desires of our hearts because if we don't we'll be in BIG trouble! If we forget to do something special on this day, our partner suspects we no longer care.
In the early days of new relationships, we make enormous effort to make our partner feel special; we have Valentine's day every day! We're romantic, loving, affectionate, think of fabulous surprises and life is fun and full of ‘hugging stuff’! Once we've 'done' that phase and made a commitment to each other, we can get back to real life! We forget how to spell romance let alone make an effort to create that special feeling.
What if we made Valentine's day a monthly event instead?
Being realistic, life does become very busy and we may need a regular ritual to make time for our relationships. Every fourth weekend, make it a Valentine's weekend. Do relationship enhancing things. Spend lots of time together (forget about quality time - it's never enough!), go to the movies, hold hands, have a romantic dinner together, go on a date together - no one else allowed - and act as if you have just met and are 'falling' in love, watch a romantic comedy, make love in unusual places!, and don't forget to relax.
Anyway, do something for a few minutes on the Valentine's weekend to strengthen your relationship. Talk about what sorts of activities, words or behaviors would strengthen the relationship for you. And then plan your year of Valentine's weekends.
If you are single and happy, you'll probably be having fun anyway every weekend doing one of a million things! And you didn't even register that it was Valentine's day! Well, it would be hard to miss that, but have a ‘single and happy’ party planned for February 14th! You could have a great night celebrating your friendships together.
If you're single and lonely, and you went 'bah, humbug' to Valentine's day, work out why you are lonely. Are you an energy sucker? A pessimist? Bad company? If you said yes to any of those, immediately seek help to change your behavior! And watch your world change for the better around you. If there are other reasons you are lonely (much more likely), examine those reasons and see if there is anything you can do to find more connections and freindships. Here are some ideas for those who are feeling lonely or disconnected (which is really unhealthy for your heart by the way):
Do you 'get out' enough? Most people meet their life partner through friends - do you cultivate your friendships? And treasure your friends? Do you entertain or make an effort to arrange dinners with groups of friends? Are you a good friend to others?
Are you connected to yourself as well as your friends? I know that sounds bizarre, but think about it. Do you know what your heart wants? Are you in touch with your feelings? Are you sending out vibes that you are satisfied with your life - or are you sending out "I hate my life - save me from myself" vibes? It’s sad if you are, as it's usually most unattractive to others! Do things to make yourself happy, find purpose in your life and watch the friendships spring up!
If you are trapped at home with young children, find another person in the same state and make baby sitting arrangements so each of you can go out once a month!
Meet new people by joining sporting or other clubs, attending courses or seminars, writing to singles columns, or joining a reputable dating agency. Or just see more of your friends.
Be your own Valentine if no one else will - if you don't love yourself, how can anyone else?
No matter what, God loves you. And if you don’t believe in God there will always be someone out there who loves you! And it all is helped by YOU loving you! No matter who you are.....YOU ARE WORTH LOVING! Remember that.
Happy Valentines Day! And happy Valentine’s weekends for the rest of the year!
