Last week I spoke at a conference on balance and while preparing, I realized the spirit in which we do things has a huge impact on our sense of life balance. The newsletter last month discussed the spirit in which we do things and how important it is.
In terms of how we feel about our lives, when we repeat to ourselves how busy we are, and how much we have to do and that we never have enough time and we are overwhelmed, we program in that state. Our negative self talk and pessimistic attitude pervades our whole life. Our spirit becomes one of agitation, chaos, impatience and selfishness. We lose all sense of serving.
When we see life as a rich tapestry and that the way in which we do anything and everything can make a difference; and that we have significant control over our activities, then we realize that we have made choices, and we start to take responsibility for what is happening in our lives instead of falling into the victim trap, and complaining about how busy we are and life is overtaking us.
If we have an spirit of serving rather than being serviced, and we trust there is a grand plan and that everything happens for a reason, even if we will never understand it - we perceive the world very differently and we can deal with what comes towards us with a much calmer and more optimistic spirit.
Many people say they ‘have’ to work as hard as they do. I often wonder what those reasons are, are they all linked to money? Do we really need a TV in every room and fancy cars and designer clothes and the best of everything? Do we really need to have what our neighbors have or more than they have? What are your real reasons for doing all you do that puts your life out of balance? Make some (rather than ‘find’ some!) time to sit and reflect with your heart’s wisdom on the reasons you are doing all you do. Are most of those reasons basically materialistic? Are they about serving God and others or being served yourself?
I have huge admiration for single mothers who have to work full time, not only do they have a lot to do, but they have guilt, fear and angst most of the time as well. Yet, some single mothers do a huge amount with good grace and ease, and others are frazzled all the time and miserable. What’s the difference? Of course there are gazillions of differences depending on individual circumstances, but those who fare the best are those who do all they have to do with a great spirit. A spirit of joyful serving! They are cheerfully optimistic; they feel connected to others, they may not be wealthy but they are rich in connections and love; the care about others and understand the need to take care of themselves.
They might take one step at a time instead of looking at all the stuff they have to do at once and become overwhelmed; they probably focus on what they are doing at the time, being present to it instead of fearing what is ahead of them; they smile at people and are kind; and can gently deal with others letting them know that now is not a good time for a chat and ask if they can do it later. They may be very busy and have too much to do but they don’t let their minds overwhelm them with doubt, fear, pessimism or anxiety.
Controlling our thoughts is critical for a joyful spirit of serving. We can all be prone to negative, damaging, destructive, depressing thoughts, and we can all choose between them and other more positive ones, But it takes consistent effort and will forces. As a young woman, I was plagued by anxiety and worried all the time, about nothing really. Reading a book called Your Erroneous Zones by Wayne Dyer changed my life! I realized I had to control my negative thoughts and stop them ruling my life. I then disciplined myself to do it.
I refused to let myself feel or say anything negative to myself, as soon as I recognized what I was doing I would shout ‘STOP’ in my head!! And then make a more positive statement; or I would reframe and look for the good in everything that happened; I wrote notes to myself and stuck them everywhere; I read and re read that book; if I felt negative or fearful I would read a chapter or even a few lines of the book to pick me up.
I wore a rubber band on my wrists, a loose one!, and every time I was aware of saying something other than positive to myself, I would pull the rubber band way out from my wrist and let it snap back so it hurt! That very soon stopped my brain thinking those thoughts! LOL
It was a blinding flash of the obvious when I accepted that by focusing on the negative, I lost my spirit of joyful serving and went to the ‘what about me, ‘you need to be serving me’ attitude, and that was not good for anyone, especially me!
So, how is your spirit? Is it a joyful spirit of serving and trust that you will get through all that needs to be done, or are you creating a state of chaos inside yourself, destroying any sense of personal internal balance which then of course will create chaos and destroy any life balance you may have?
Your spirit will determine your life balance, and it’s your choice!
Attitude is critical in life, we all know that, we may not remember it too often, and for me attitude comes from the head. Our spirit, the spirit in which we do things, comes from our hearts.
Think of the last difficult interaction you had with someone, were you in your heart at the time? Was there a spirit of communion, understanding, reconciliation, caring or concern or love in your heart? Or were you there to win? Or to prove them wrong and you right? To defend yourself? To cover yourself from future blame?
Selfishness is an all pervasive condition that separates us from others, because our heart spirit is ‘squashed’ by the head’s wants and desires and
