Oh no, I've just heard my first Christmas carols and seen my first outdoor Christmas decoration! They're starting in the stores already. Warning, warning......it's that time of year again.
Christmas is great if you have toddlers or access to someone else's toddlers that you love! For almost everyone else the thought of Christmas comes with mixed emotions. Many families relish the idea of everyone getting together and catching up - for about five minutes.
Then the same old things that irritated you all your life start to bug you again - especially since family members often believe they have the right to tell you how to raise your children, run your life, what is wrong with you / and or your spouse, how foolish (or stingy) you are with money, and so on. Sibling rivalry at it's best and fuelled by alcohol - hmmm, a wonderful cocktail! NOT!!
Or you are alone, or millions of miles from your family and the thought of Christmas - a traditional family time - brings on feelings of sadness and loneliness. Sometimes it's more lonely being surrounded by family than anywhere else.
So, to keep you well over Christmas, I thought I would write a series aimed at keeping you sane , and possibly even happy until Christmas is over!
First and most important , you. How do you get yourself and keep yourself in a good state?
Number one, get fit first! We all know that December is a destructive time for our health and fitness! All that eating and drinking and partying and business functions and late nights. (Sounds like fun!) But not so great for our body and we usually feel exhausted. As of this week, start walking - work your way up to 2 miles in 30 minutes (yes, it is possible, you have to walk fast!) CHECK WITH YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE YOU START ANY EXERCISE PROGRAM; or swim; go to the gym (give yourself membership for Christmas); ride a bike - anything that makes you puff for thirty minutes , four times a week. Even if you only puff for 3 lots of 10 minutes per day your body will be grateful and more healthy. And eat more fresh fruit and vegies and salads. Lose weight before Christmas so you can eat more later!
Be realistic about the upcoming family gathering. If you and your sister or brother have always fought , try changing what you say to yourself about her or him. Work out before you see each other, what things your sibling does that trigger a reaction in you and be aware of what they are and keep a part of you alert over the time together for these triggers - then make a conscious effort to ignore them or respond in a calm or neutral way. They soon become tired of trying if you don't bite!
Look for old patterns in your family. Most of us have patterns of behaviors that we unconsciously slip into with family and close friends. Sometimes these are functional - sometimes not. Set yourself a goal that you will be an observer this Christmas and notice these patterns without becoming hooked into them. Or notice them after you were hooked so you can avoid them next time!
Tell yourself that you will have fun and a good stress free Christmas. This gives you more chance of having one, that reminding yourself how awful the last one was! Remember all the good Christmases you have had and work out what made them good. Try and reproduce the same conditions.
Try and have plenty of sleep before your vacation - so you don't have to catch up on a years sleep in three weeks! And do stress buster things during the year so you will be well on your holiday - rather than your body gasping on the last day of work, 'now we have time to get sick!'.
Be aware of your breathing! When we are stressed we have shallow breathing high in our chests. This interferes with our thinking and the way we cope. Keep breathing low and large! Big breaths , deep into your diaphragm.
Start planning now - for presents, food, where you will go, what you will do - do everything you can now instead of the last two weeks when everyone else is rushing around crowding the stores.
Above all, keep imagining yourself (see, hear and feel yourself ) focusing totally on what you are doing at any moment while you are with family. This makes it easier for it to happen like that in reality. Being completely absorbed by chopping turkey, listening to your father or mother, cleaning the room, washing up, pouring drinks , or whatever task you are doing, you will stop your mind wandering into the past or future where we most often create our own stress!
Part 2 comes next month! Meantime, stay calm, You have to live through Thanksgiving BEFORE we even arrive at Christmas!!
PS to those of you who think I am being negative, I AM NOT!! I am using humor to help us deal with what can be horrible situations! So remember to let go and remind yourself I am an Aussie!!! We make fun of everything!
Zoot zoot!
