From Amanda's very early writing (1990s to early 2000s), shared as it was originally written.
Hopeless thinking optimistic thinking
I can’t touch my wife intimately my poor wife if not well
I will never be able to touch my wife intimately things will be better soon
I have not been able to do it for 3 years things will be great when we are through this time/she is well/I am calmer
No matter what I do its hopeless I can take charge of myself and make myself feel positive; I am turn to hope and faith; I can choose hope and faith
Everything is hopeless nothing is hopeless, I only look at it hopelessly
I am mature and responsible and can control what I do and how I feel and what I say;
I am a good person
I will have a loving and intimate relationship with my wife again
This is just a very difficult time and we have improved a lot in the last year
