From Amanda's very early writing (1990s to early 2000s), shared as it was originally written.
Health, Happiness and the Meaning of Life.
More heart attacks occur at 9.00am than any other time! This should be a cause of concern to many of us!
American research investigating factors influencing heart attack have identified a new number one peril - not cholesterol, not obesity, not lack of exercise, although they are important contributory factors - but job dissatisfaction. Specifically, lack of purpose or meaning in life.
Researchers distilled the elements of dissatisfaction down towo main elements a) lack of purpose or meaning in life and b) a self rating of happiness.
In other words, if someone came up to you and asked you what was your puspose in life and you looked at them as if they had two heads and then they asked you how happy you’d rate yourself and you answered ‘not very’ - get medical insurance fast!
having a purpose in life has been resognised by philosophers and wise people for centuries but it seems to have escaped resognition - let alone consideration - by the bulk of our population. Perhaps we should discuss this at schools?
The Dalai Lama on his last visit to Australia was asked “what is the meaning of life?”. He answered ‘happiness and usefulness’.
Having some worthwhile meaning in life will make differences in the way you perceive yourself and others and the way they perceive you.
Take time to reflect - sit and think quietly about what you could have as a purpose in your life. It doesn’t matter what it is , as long as it ‘s important to you. Mine is helping others heal nad grow; to provide them with information in simple format that they may not otherwise have access to ; this gives people more choices over what happens to them; I also want happiness and to bring joy to others nad to learn and keep learning all my life. Gads! I sound like a goodie two shoes! Still, that’s what I believe I’m here for.
There are numbers of experts who suggest that the mid life crisis is all about “what am I doing all this for?” Layne Longfellow, a talented American psychologist suggests that males and females in our culture were brought up to develop in 2 different areas.
Females in intimacy and nurturing and males to achieve and develop competencies. He suggests that at the forty - ish mark, we start to internally recognize the part of us that has been ignored. Females need to balance the ‘male’ part of themselves and males need to develop their ‘female’ side. Females have had years of intimacy with families and children when they start to identify a need to be recognized for competence and skill and the males after years of ignoring their intimacy needs, suddenly realize they have lots of skills and power and position and no real friends or relationships.
Having a sense of what your purpose is in life is like putting a rudder on a ship. It can guide you along the path you choose. Your purpose may change as you steer your course and that’s OK! The rudder just moves to a new position and you take up a new course.
I don’t think this purpose has to be grand of lofty. It can be as simple as you like as long as it means a lot to you.
What if you are stuck in a job that offers you no satisfaction? Perhaps you could decide what is missing and make some changes that would bring meaning into your work? What about pride in performing your part as an integral team member? Or just pride in what you do no matter how trivial it may seem. Be the best ‘whatever’ you can be. Before you discard a job, make sure you have tried to redesign the job - or discussed changes with people who could make the changes - to give you satisfaction.
As most people spend the bulk of their waking hours at work, make a concerted effort to make your work a rich source of satisfaction and meaning. Where is your focus as you look for this sense of purpose? What do you say to yourself about your job and the work you do? Do you recognize it as worthwhile? Or do you belittle your contribution?
Taking pride in doing your job with excellence is a start; and maybe, as you show a desire to do and be more, your job may be enlarged to give you more responsibility and authority. If you don’t want more, that’s great. If you are satisfied and happy with what you do, 9.00am Monday mornings is something to look forward to!
What if you are a home worker? I know someone who is a cleaner and this person takes fantastic pride in seeing a clean, sparkling result from what started as a mess! Perhaps you could turn your attention to the community? Do volunteer work; cheer up some lonely old people; bring joy to orphans; or just make biscuits for a disabled neighbor. Research shows that by helping other people we boost the strength of our immune systems and therefore resist disease more effectively - a bonus!
Maybe your purpose is just to be happy without hurting others. Great! go do it and know you are on track.
Children benefit from being around parents who have a sense of purpose and direction. Toddlers have fantastic senses of purpose in their lives - learn , laugh , play and have fun! Grown ups lose this wonderful attitude. Teenagers just get in their own way - if they had a bigger picture, a greater sense of purpose than just surviving the next few years without embarrassment, they may enjoy those precious years more.
OK, so what happens if your life is full of abuse or horror? Is there any escape? Can you find help or support? Even then maybe your purpose is survival without scarring. The classic example of a purpose in life sustaining humans through extreme atrocities is in Victor Frankel’s book, Man’s Search For Meaning. This man survived years in POW camps by focusing on helping others cope and by driven by a desire to see his family again and to play the piano again. Even under the most difficult conditions a clear purpose for that part of your life can keep you well - or alive when others are dying.
If you are having trouble deciding on some purpose for your life - relax about it and borrow the Dalai Lama’s philosophy - happiness and usefulness - until your own becomes clear.
