WHAT HAPPENED TO HER? DID SHE RETIRE?
NOPE - SHE IS RE-WIRING!
Hello everyone, SURPRISE!! I am not dead! Although it’s been so long I would not blame you for wondering!
Forgive my long delay but I have been very busy upgrading my operating system! And rewiring my brain for life part 64 it seems!
So where to begin…..
Having gone through life part 63 during COVID and learning how I used work to escape living, I thought I would have a period where I could reflect on the work I had done on myself and integrate and enjoy life as I had never known it before! While I did have a few months where I learned to enjoy slowing down, savoring the moments and joy and living closer to the ‘speed of consciousness’ as my mentor David Martin likes to say, the universe/my higher self/ God self or whatever resonates for you had other plans!
David asked me to consider moving back to the USA for a period of time. My initial response was ‘no’, clearly! I loved the beach and this new found slow way of actually living rather than existing and escaping through work.
The second time he mentioned it, I thought ‘darn (or worse). He doesn’t suggest things lightly!. Now I didn’t know.
So I sat on my balcony, looked over the ocean and lush tropical paradise in which I lived (and loved) and exasperated, I shouted out, ‘what am I to do’!
I would like to say a thunder bolt came down and instant clarity was suddenly present….instead, I very clearly heard the words ‘do you want to play big or small?’ This was quite uncommon for me but there was no mistaking it!
I knew in that moment I had to go. I had no idea what big meant. I had no idea what small meant! I must say the thought didn’t fill me with excited enthusiasm or a great sense of adventure or excitement!
But I knew I had to go. Have you ever had moments when you just know something? I have not had many moments like that and I have only ‘heard’ this loud, clear voice 3 times in my life. Reflect on giving yourself some quiet time and space to hear the whisperings (or in my case quite loud!) inspirations/clues/guidance. And on times in the past when you have had some ‘knowing’ and gone against it, what happened? Did it work out?
If you have had an experience like that, you will know I had to leave!
It was a big deal. And overwhelming and I am eternally grateful for my wonderful group of friends who supported and helped me through it, Gail and Callum, Ken, Mel, Lorraine, Michelle, David and others.
At 68, selling your fully owned, magnificent home, and ending up with 52 boxes of possessions (which I have managed to live without for 10 months! Which is a whole other newsletter on ‘stuff’!), working to get a visa (and thank you to all of those wonderful people who helped me with that), finding a place to live, learning how to live in another country (again) with all the practical and foreign things of daily life, and then make friends in a place where you only know 2 people was ….’interesting’.
And continues to be interesting, not to mention letting bureaus and clients know I was back so I can actually get work.
However, this journey has revealed a great deal about myself. So much for me having done SO much work on myself for so long LOL. I didn’t realize quite how far I had to go.
So here I am. In the USA. Learning pickleball; learning west coast swing (a dance at which I am very average at this point and eternally grateful to the lovely people who kindly dance with me, the beginner!); taking improv comedy classes; finding good food places, markets and learning about ticks. There are a lot of ticks in Virginia!
No more barefoot walking on the grass most of the year! But there are Fall/Autumn colors, beautiful walking paths and fortunately, a lot of good wineries!
Stay tuned folks as I emerge from my ‘chrysalis moment’ and share with you the journey. I really do feel like I did the caterpillar melting into an ooey gooey mess thing as David likes to call it; and am kind of still there in many ways. Learning how to deal with all the challenges /opportunities that are being presented.
I will write these newsletters more often now, and if you are interested share with you what I have been experiencing and learning. And how I am choosing to be grateful for the experiences and the range of roller coaster emotions. I made 'not feeling' an artform for most of my life and so much of this is very new to me. Stay tuned team to see what sort of butterfly emerges!!
Sending you hugs and...
Zooties
Amanda xx
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