G`day! (how we say it in Aus) Here is a tip that may make your week more enjoyable. You can apply it throughout all aspects of your life! Some of you may know that I like to talk about “sparkly bits.” They are the non-verbal messages that we send to people. IT’S AS IF WE ALL WALK AROUND WITH INVISIBLE FISH BOWLS ON OUR HEADS AND IN THIS FISH BOWL ARE ‘SPARKLY BITS’. MY SPARKLY BITS AND YOUR SPARKLY BITS TALK TO EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME. IF WHAT COMES OUT OF MY MOUTH DOES NOT MATCH WHAT MY SPARKLY BITS ARE SAYING, YOU WILL ALWAYS PICK UP SPARKLY BITS! Sparkly bits are what we say to ourselves inside our heads. Did you know that only 7 percent of communication is through the words we say?
These “sparkly bits” are very important in making connections with others. If we’re going to communicate as well as we can, our “sparkly bits” (or what we say to ourselves) have to match what comes out of our mouth. For instance, have you ever dreaded seeing someone, and when they say hello, you respond with phony enthusiasm as if you’re happy to see them? In most cases like this, the person will realize that something isn’t quite right with what you’re saying, or you! Some may call it intuition, but I think that its just people reading the entire message you’re giving them.
So, try to match you’re “sparkly bits” with your words. If you’re giving mixed messages, you’re never going to connect on an honest and meaningful level. You’ll be able to avoid situations where you’re saying, “But I didn’t mean it like that!” or “You’re misinterpreting my message.” Having congruence with your words and your “sparkly bits” will surely help you in communicating and connecting with others.
Have a great week!
Sincerely,
Amanda
G`day everyone! You may THERE MAY BE MANY WHO find many who disagree with me, but in this day and age OUR TIME I think the tip I have in store will help out your relationships and you overall well-being. Are you ready? Are you sure? Okay then, turn off the TV!
“But I need to watch TV! Or what would I do?”, you’re thinking. It gives you a time to zone out, not think about your problems, and focus on something else. Well, maybe, but what good is it doing you? It’s taking away from your physical and mental health and also taking away from the health of your relationships. Think about it... you are sitting still, shocking your nervous system and usually watching negative stuff! BUT WAIT YOU SAY, WHAT ABOUT THE FAMILY BONDING IN WATCHING REALITY TV PROGRAMS TOGETHER! VERY FEW OF THOSE EXPERIENCES ARE BONDING, YOU ARE ALL SITTING STILL WATCHING THE BOX AND NOT TALKING TO EACH OTHER.
Rather than watch TV, you could get home from work and go for a jog or a walk, or do something active.ANYTHING ACTIVE! You could use the time to talk with your husband, wife, partner, children, or someone else you care about. It’s been said that we spend only four minutes a week engaging in quality communication with our significant other. Imagine that! AND THAT DOES NOT LEAD TO FULFILLING CONNECTED RELATIONSHIPS!
Try keeping the TV off at least three nights a week to be a healthier person and have healthier relationships. Think of all the things you could discover, learn, do or enjoy during the time you would normally be vegging out!
You will find it works! Try it!
ZOOT ZOOT
Amanda
Hello everyone! All people want to improve relationships. Men and women are different. Surprise! Ha, ha. Seriously though, men and women communicate differently, and understanding these differences is important when dealing with each other.
Here’s an example: A man is driving in the car with his wife, and she asks if he’d like some coffee. The man replies, “No, I’m fine,” and there’s a silence where the man wonders, “Why is she angry with me now?” And the woman thinks, “That selfish bloke.” You see, what the woman was really asking was, “I’d like a cup of coffee. Can we stop?” Women know that about other women so we can use our secret codes! But men have no idea!
In this scenario and in many others, men are more likely to take your question literally. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but women would be better served to ask something like, “I’d like a cup of coffee, would you?” The man, perhaps, then would have responded, “I’m fine for coffee, but if you’d like one, I’ll pull over.” Perhaps!
Women need to be more straightforward in these type of situations, while men need to realize that there are a great deal of hidden messages behind what women say. I don’t mean to be sexist, and these certainly don’t apply to everyone. But this scenario happens all the time and understanding how the opposite sex communicates can make our relationships easier to manage.
Zoot! Zoot!
Sincerely,
Amanda
Hello everyone! I have some more ideas to make your life less stressful. I’m talking about stress in general, and about how you can choose or not choose how you deal with it.
You see, life is like a pressure cooker. We put the lid on and let the heat get higher and higher. If we don’t check on it regularly, the result is stew splattered all over the kitchen ceiling! Or your insides! Just joking!
Another helpful example: on roller coasters, people react to stress differently. Someone may ride on the roller coaster scared out of his THEIR mind, screaming out of fear. Others may be screaming in joy, while some may be indifferent, neither happy nor scared. We all react to events in life differently, we make them stressful or not. Really, it is not the event that is stressful but what we say to ourselves about the event that sets off our stress hormones.
Your reaction to stress can determine how long and how well you live. You have a choice to control the pressure that’s building; release it frequently. The difficulty in dealing with THE DAMAGE DONE BY stress correlates directly with how you choose to handle it. Look at the positives! Find ways to bust that stress! Laugh; talk with friends; play sport; exercise; or deep breathe, any of those will help!
Or as one of my nephews said, ‘take a chill pill’!
Sincerely,
Amanda
G`day mates! Have you ever wanted to learn how to deal with people when they’re angry or distressed or with yourself when you become sad or gloomy and have negative feelings!
When people are angry, you might BE TEMPTED TO say in a calm quiet voice, “Stay calm, don’t get upset.” Thinking you are helping them settle down! Wrong!! It is more likely to drive them into a complete frenzy of fury!
In this situation, try to become their verbal twin. That means that when they’re angry about something, in a raised voice, say something like, “I know what you’re saying. I can`t stand it when that happens.”
You don`t have to be angry as well, just raise your voice! This will cause them to think you are understanding them and you develop a trust and a bond at an unconscious level and then you can steer the conversation away from whatever was causing their anger.
You can lead them to a state that’s more beneficial to their health. It’s important to understand that you’re not trying to manipulate them; you’re simply trying to match them where they are so they feel understood. Also remember, this works both ways. If you are sad and another person is happy, try latching onto their emotional state. After all most of us are just trying to be happy and healthy.
Here’s to being happy and healthy!
Zooties
Amanda
Hi all! Today let`s discuss changes in your life. They are happening everywhere. This year will not be like next year, and today will be different from tomorrow. There’s continuous change happening all the time, and if we don’t adapt, we won’t be equipped to be our best we can be in the future. Most of us fight change with all our might! Yet it is often the greatest way to grow and develop.
We get into comfortable norms that aren’t always beneficial. For example, the way we walk and sit, the way we view the world, or react to situations, our families, stress etc, it’s a habit. It’s said that all the information in this world doubles in less than one year. I say that’s a changing world! So we had better start being comfortable with change.
Try to stay flexible in all you do. Be open and embrace change. Understand that change can be a friend! It stops you becoming stuck and stale; by thinking differently and behaving differently, you’ll see the world differently. You’ll be more in touch with what’s going on around you, and, in turn, the world will become more open to you.
Here’s to new beginnings!
Sincerely,
Amanda
Does anyone out there worry? Whenever I ask that question from the stage, almost every hand goes up. Of course we all worry, but it’s not really wise! Worry consumes huge amounts of time and achieves little, in fact it can harm you.
Olympic athletes mentally rehearse at least three hours a day. This means that they vividly imagine what they want to have happen for at least three hours. They see, hear and feel themselves winning and breaking records. We know that this improves their performance. Research has shown it repeatedly. So if vividly imagining what you really want to have happen workS, then worrying, which is vividly imagining what you don’t want to have happen, will also work! By worrying you are making it much more likely that what you fear will happen. Do you want to do that really?
Instead, here is a way to stop worrying, its simple and effective! Take a rubber band and put it around your wrist. Make sure it is a loose rubber band. We want the circulation to continue to your hand! The next time you find yourself worrying or having a negative thought, pull the rubber band way out from your wrist and let it snap back! It should mildly sting and not be very painful! This trains your body mind to stop having those negative worrying thoughts! Just like Pavlov’s dogs that learned to salivate at the sounds of a bell, your body will stop having worrying if it knows that a stinging wrist will follow the thought!
Silly, but it works! Try it before you judge it!
And if that doesn’t appeal to you, buy a little worry book. And each time during the day you find yourself worrying, stop and immediately write down the thought. Then close the book and put it away for your ‘worry time’. Each day, allocate 10 minutes for worry. During that time you do nothing but worry! Make it the same time every day, this is important. You will be amazed at how most of the things you wrote down are no longer a worry and those that are, it is almost impossible to worry constantly for 10 minutes! It’s a great technique and teaches us how little of what we worry about is valid!
Enjoy being worry free!
Amanda
John gottman a writer of wonderful books on relationships said ‘the great paradox of relationships is that people change when you accept them just as they are’! How true. Think about people in your life, those you love, your colleagues, friends. What qualities do you focus on in them? Think of your partner in life. Initially, you thought they could do no wrong, they were amazing. Everything you have ever wanted. They were so smart and funny and charming and kind. How long before you noticed they were not perfect! And then you focused more and more on what you didn’t like and what annoys you and how you wish they would be different.
It ain’t going to happen just because you want them to change!
Similarly at work, if you are not fond of your supervisor or manager or colleagues, or if you don’t respect them, what are you focusing on? All the things you don’t like and don’t admire. This is never helpful for you or others.
Constantly look for positive qualities in everyone with whom you are involved. And focus on them. Sometimes you have to search for the positive, but there is good in everyone. Be a good finder. Find good in everyone and everything, all the time! Always. Find it and focus on it and you will be amazed at how your relationships transform.
Even if you didn’t like this letter today, find some good in it!!
Amanda
G’day folks! Our bodies really are temples and yet we rarely treat them as such! Most often we completely ignore them until they no longer function. Only then do we acknowledge how great it is to have a healthy, fully functioning and pain free body.
It’s up to us to pay attention to our bodies before they become painful or stop functioning. Consider your back. These days we are almost all sedentary in our jobs and standing all day is still considered sedentary! We sit for much of our day and rarely do much activity that causes us to puff at work. So we sit for breakfast, sit on the way to work; sit at work and lunch and in meetings and then sit on the way home (in fact we fight to get a seat on public transport!) And then slump exhaustedly into the chair when we arrive home!
Sitting is public enemy number one for the lower back. And just about every other joint and organ in your body! Something simple you can do is stand up and stretch every 30 minutes. Do something that moves your joints in the opposite direction that they have been in for the last 30 minutes. Take the stairs and not the elevator. Walk to your colleagues desk, don’t send an email! There are many things you can do to keep moving, that’s the key, keep moving all the time. (MAKE SURE THAT YOU HAVE NO PAIN WHEN YOU STRETCH, IT MUST BE COMFORTABLE AND IF IN DOUBT, CHECK WITH YOUR DOCTOR FIRST)
Not only will it give you more energy and reduce fatigue, it will sharpen your focus and help you enjoy your work more. You’ll notice your body is more flexible and feels better at the end of the day. I promise!
Try it, you’ll be thrilled!
Keep moving!
Amanda
G’day everyone!
Another week and it brings another tip to help you out in this hectic world IN WHICH we live in all. Okay, take a deep breath. IN AND LET IT ALL OUT. That’s it! That’s the tip for this week! Breathe, relax, and heal yourself. With the frantic pace of most of our lives, where rushing is the norm , effective relaxation practices are very important to make sure you’re refreshed, energized, and able to focus better and achieve more. More in synch with your surroundings.
Sounds simple, right? You may be saying, ‘wait a second, everyone who’s alive breathes all the time’. Yes they do but most of us also rarely deep breathe. When we yawn or sigh its’ often a sign our body gives us to say ‘breathe’! Taking 2 big breaths IN AND OUT each half hour is a wonderful way to ground and center you. As is entering a meditative state. But this means we need to take time to step out of our normal lives, and recharge our internal batteries.
How to meditate? Find a quiet place to sit and close your eyes. Focus on your breathing coming in and out of your solar plexus, see it and hear it flowing in and out, maybe attach a color to it. Your mind will wander and have other thoughts and that is ok, just become aware of them and gently bring your focus back to your breath. Continue to do this for 5 or 10 minutes and you will be amazed at how much beter you feel. This meditative awareness can often be more effective than sleep. Entering this state increases the chemicals that calm us and allow us to work with focus and creativity.
Have a great week! And keep breathing!
Amanda
Zoot zoot everyone!
More tips to keep your life rolling like a big wheel!
Today i want don’t like i want, it is too forceful and i am giving them a gift not doing what i want!! To write about changes in your life.
I would rather it went like this... PLEASE DELETE THE PURPLE AND ADD THE RED
Change . It’s everywhere and happening all the time, and it’s usually very stressful! The bad news is that we can’t stop it happening. The good news is that we can adapt and change our thinking! It may not always be easy but we as humans can learn to be flexible and resilient. Much of what we do is habit and many of our reactions are based on what we say to ourselves about what is happening to us.
How we talk to ourselves about ourselves and what is happening around us can change our lives! Listen to what tapes or commentary you have running in your head and if it is not positive or helpful, change it!
Once you hear what is going on, if it’s not true, challenge it and replace it with something more beneficial.
Try it today, the next time someone drives erratically in front of you, listen to what you say to yourself! Is it making you calmer or more angry and frustrated! It’s your choice. Choose wisely, you’ll be surprised at what a difference it makes to your life
blessings
amanda
